Something I’ve always had a lot of trouble with is trusting that the Lord is leading me. I am a well-documented control freak in many respects and most of the time I just feel helpless if I don’t have A Plan.<\/p>\n
Which is why this whole thing with my career\/work is driving me completely batshit insane. At this point, I have a sort of vague idea of what I’m trying to do but I kind of have no clue how I’m going to get there. And to be honest, sometimes I’m not sure if what I want<\/i> is even really what’s best for me. I do feel very fortunate to be in my industry – it is challenging and it pays really well and offers pretty much limitless potential. But at the same time, it can be cut-throat, crude, self-important and impatient. It definitely brings out the best and the worst in me simultaneously.<\/p>\n
So, I don’t know.<\/p>\n
I’m trying to remind myself that in my heart of hearts I do feel like God led me here, and if that’s true He led me here for a reason. Whether it’s to stay in this industry or move onto something else? I don’t know that yet. But it’s also why I am pursuing this opportunity in L.A. even though the timing couldn’t be more horrible. Because as of right now, that is the door that has been nudged open for me and I think I just have to have faith that if it’s not meant to be it will slam shut in my face. Or I’ll get some kind of a sign.<\/p>\n
I have always been fortunate that way. When I look back, things have always sort of fallen in place as though an invisible, loving hand was clearing a specific path for me. Not just professionally (the best example of which would be how I got into my graduate program) but also personally (the emotionally scarring relationships that eventually led to the most wonderful husband ever). And I have to trust that, that hand? It’s still there, even if I can’t feel it at the moment.<\/p>\n
That job in L.A.? I don’t know if it’s my dream job. It’s certainly not my dream to move back to L.A. (I.hate.traffic.so.much) but maybe that is supposed to be my next step. But again, I am getting way ahead of myself since a) they haven’t even officially scheduled an interview yet, b) they haven’t officially defined the role yet so they may interview me and then decide they are looking for someone way above my level and c) oh yeah, I haven’t been offered the job. Details.<\/p>\n
In other news, we are about two and a half weeks away from closing escrow. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Something I’ve always had a lot of trouble with is trusting that the Lord is leading me. I am a well-documented control freak in many respects and most of the time I just feel helpless if I don’t have A Plan. Which is why this whole thing with my career\/work is driving me completely batshit […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-15","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-navel-gazing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=15"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=15"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=15"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=15"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}