I spent the day with some of the lovely women in my family, including the amazing woman who gave me life twenty-nine years ago.<\/p>\n
It was exactly what I needed.<\/p>\n
And I’m glad that I’ve matured enough to know that what I needed to do was go be with people who love me rather than sit alone in my room crying all day.<\/p>\n
I told Paul the other day that I’m trying to learn to love myself better.\u00c2\u00a0 Because I think God wants that.<\/p>\n
When I’m really honest, I feel guilty loving myself, feel guilty even talking about loving myself, because I know.\u00c2\u00a0 <\/em>I know myself.\u00c2\u00a0 And myself?\u00c2\u00a0 Kind of a sh*tty person a lot of the time.<\/p>\n But that doesn’t matter to Jesus and so I have to figure out how to make my guilt and shame less of a focus for myself.\u00c2\u00a0 And focus on the fact that I may not deserve it, but I’m loved by God and a lot of other wonderful people who’s love I don’t deserve either and still somehow have.<\/p>\n I’m not perfect, far from perfect, probably the farthest thing from perfect you’ll ever find, but that’s ok.<\/p>\n It’s okay to strive to be a better person, but I need to remember that I will always ultimately fail at that to some extent and by actually putting this heavy burden on myself, I’m doing the exact opposite of what God wants me to do.<\/p>\n So okay, I love myself.<\/p>\n Oof…that was hard.<\/p>\n And on another note…at what age do you think it is when birthdays suddenly go from being a day you look forward to celebrating to a day that reminds you of all the things you’ve failed to achieve?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I spent the day with some of the lovely women in my family, including the amazing woman who gave me life twenty-nine years ago. It was exactly what I needed. And I’m glad that I’ve matured enough to know that what I needed to do was go be with people who love me rather than […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,9],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-navel-gazing","category-the-good-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=358"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":359,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/358\/revisions\/359"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=358"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=358"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=358"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}