{"id":479,"date":"2012-01-29T11:56:54","date_gmt":"2012-01-29T19:56:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/?p=479"},"modified":"2012-01-29T11:56:54","modified_gmt":"2012-01-29T19:56:54","slug":"reach-down-your-hand-in-your-pocket-pull-out-some-hope-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/?p=479","title":{"rendered":"reach down your hand in your pocket, pull out some hope for me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have been writing.\u00c2\u00a0 I stopped taking pictures, but I have been writing.\u00c2\u00a0 I want to get back on the picture thing but these past few days I have been in a dark emotional hole and the apathy&#8230;oh the apathy.<\/p>\n<p>I am currently working on a post that is already nearly 6,000 words long &#8211; and I&#8217;ve only just scratched the surface.\u00c2\u00a0 I thought that writing all of it, writing the story of how I got to the present, would help.\u00c2\u00a0 Would pull me out of this funk I&#8217;ve been sinking into.<\/p>\n<p>But so far I don&#8217;t think it has.\u00c2\u00a0 The catharsis I thought would come is nowhere to be found.\u00c2\u00a0 In fact, I think I feel worse.<\/p>\n<p>But I do plan to keep going, to tell the story if only because it&#8217;s never been told before.\u00c2\u00a0 Maybe it won&#8217;t be until the end that everything will become clear to me and I can stop tormenting myself with the past.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p><em>Well I&#8217;m so terrified of no one else but me<br \/>\nBut I&#8217;m here all the time<br \/>\nSo I won&#8217;t go away<\/em><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>It&#8217;s been a long day. A long year. Sometimes it feels like a long life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have been writing.\u00c2\u00a0 I stopped taking pictures, but I have been writing.\u00c2\u00a0 I want to get back on the picture thing but these past few days I have been in a dark emotional hole and the apathy&#8230;oh the apathy. I am currently working on a post that is already nearly 6,000 words long &#8211; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-lyrically-speaking","category-navel-gazing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/479\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/transcended.net\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}