Eleven years ago, the world changed forever. For my generation it is certainly the moment where we can ask each other, “Where were you?” and everyone will remember with complete clarity exactly what they were doing and how they learned that our country was under attack.
It was a horrific day. It still is. I remember clearly being glued to the TV all day with a blanket wrapped around me and the tears that kept coming as the terrible images flashed before my eyes. I remember the body counts, that were really only guesses, the people running who were covered in dust, hearing about all those first responders who so bravely ran in to help only to be crushed along with those they were trying to save when the towers came down. I remember the surreality of it all. I remember hearing stories of heroism, those who tried to save others on their way down, and the families who had loved ones stuck above where the planes struck who knew there was little, if any, hope. And I remember praying. A lot.
When it happened I had just returned from a long trip to NYC. Many afternoons spent wandering the city with my little sister, reading in Central Park, enjoying nice restaurants with my cousin G, and generally falling madly in love with the city. It made the attacks hit that much closer to home because the city had become a place close to my heart. I remember coming back to California and missing the feeling of being dwarfed by the breathtakingly tall skyscrapers. I loved that skyline so much and will always remember sitting on the pier in Hoboken with my cousin D and my sister staring at it on a clear night, beautifully lit up in all its man-made perfection.
Like so many others, 9/11 changed the way I viewed the world. It was in many ways the moment I grew up. Up until that day I honestly cared very little about politics and yet after that I ended up choosing political science with a concentration in international relations as my major. I began to care a lot and dig into the politics and history of war and formed pretty strong opinions about the ways America would be kept safe from future attacks. In fact, 9/11 is probably why this blog was focused largely on politics for the better part of 4-5 years. These days, I have gone back to mostly avoiding controversial topics (I now reside in a more liberal part of the blogosphere (personal blogs) and fully recognize that I’m not changing anyone’s mind) but I still hold pretty strong opinions and am always happy to discuss if someone wants a level-headed, no name-calling, spirited debate.
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I was a prolific blogger back in those days so I have many updates and wanted to share a few of them. Please also keep in mind I was 19 years old at the time I was writing this.
9:20am
i went to bed around six o’clock this morning and around seven thirty my mom burst into my room and told me the world trade centers had been collapsed. my dad appearantly stopped on his way to work and called her panicked because my cousin g works literally next to the World Trade Centers. luckily we got through to him and he’s safe. he said he got to work late today so just as he was about to step into his building he saw two planes crash into the WTC and then “people were jumping out of the building. they all died.” i wish i could capture his voice when he said that. total shock, it’s almost like he was saying it to make sure it was real. he’s walking the 70 plus blocks home, he said they were all running and by the time he stopped running he was at 20th street so he figured he could just walk the next 50 blocks. it’s so surreal. it’s new york for god’s sake.
it’s so weird just because i was there. i had dinner in the financial district, i hung out in an apartment right there, my cousin i lives like less than a 15 minute walk away from the seaport. my stomach aches, my head hurts and i feel like throwing up or crying. i wonder how many people died. i wonder why anyone would do something so fucked up and so god damn pointless. what point are they trying to prove? why do they want to kill thousands of innocent civilians? why? and now the United States is going to kill thousands of them. what the fuck is the good in all of this?
11:35am
the new york skyline is buried in smoke. it will never look the same again. how do we recover from something like this? it just hit me how lucky my cousin is. you see, he takes the subway to work in the mornings and the station runs beneath the World Trade Center. somehow God saw to it that he was out of the subway station and not yet inside of his building when everything started going to shit.
grace: and this kid from my floor right now just said that one of his mom’s friend’s daughter was on that boston flight and she was able to call her mom and tell her that she loved her right before it crashed
there is no possible justification or reason for this kind of shit. it’s depressing that people can do this to each other. it’s things like this that have slowly destroyed my faith in humanity. so we really are evil.
7:04pm
i took an hour long nap and woke up just in time to hear bush’s speech. i thought he did a good job, he didnt look nervous or scared and he was very soothing but firm. all in all, not a bad job. still, the whole thing feels like the world’s shittiest dream, like maybe i’ll wake up and the twin towers will still be standing. at least two hundred firemen died trying to save lives. 10,000 are estimated dead. three buildings have forever disappeared from the new york skyline. but the scariest thing is the sentiments some Americans are expressing. i want the people who did this to be found, caught and killed, but i disagree with the way some people are pointing the finger and calling for blood with no real idea of who is the cause of this.
however i think this is also, in a very little way, uplifting. because you see how the citizens of the United States have reacted to this. there are two hour lines to donate blood. there was no reported lootings in new york city. around the country immediately after the attacks local governments did everything they could to prepare against more attacks and secure their cities. i guess that’s the little ray of hope amidst all this destruction and evil.
11:41pm
you know how new yorkers have this reputation for being assholes and unfriendly. well when i was there i found that to be really untrue, but no one would believe me. but look, tons of people have volunteered to dig people out of the rubble and so many people showed up to donate blood that they had to tell people to go home and come back tomorrow. i wasnt in new york for very long but it’s an easy city to fall in love with. i can’t imagine how this event will have changed it.
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Eleven years later, I’m glad to say that our country is strong and resilient and it has changed but we rallied together to rebuild and will continue to do so. I believe now more than ever that this is the greatest country on Earth and that we can overcome any challenge with dignity and grace.
We will always honor those that were lost, we will never forget them, and we will keep fighting the good fight against the evil in this world that would like to stamp out the freedom and liberty that we stand for.
