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I can’t believe I’ve officially made it into the third trimester. What? How did this happen so quickly? Pregnancy has both inched by and flown by in the blink of an eye.

I had another PR interval and growth scan today and baby boy is measuring 3lbs on the dot! He’s still measuring slightly large for his gestational age and today the tech pointed out that all his measurements are average except he has an above average sized head which is why he measures big. Eek! The good news is that his heart still looks perfectly normal, as do all his organs, my cervix is still long and closed (3.48cm), his fluid levels look great and his cord does NOT appeared to be wrapped around his neck (which has been my new thing to obsess about for the past couple weeks). The doctor says as long as his next check in two weeks looks good they won’t have to do anymore. I am both happy and sad about this. Happy because baby boy has passed all his ultrasounds with flying colors but sad because we won’t get to see his adorable little chipmunk face as regularly anymore. My OB said I’ll most likely start NST’s the week after we stop the ultrasounds though, so he’ll still be getting plenty of monitoring.

In slightly less good news, the kiddo remains firmly in a breech position. I know it’s a little bit early to worry about this but he has only been head down in ONE ultrasound since week 18. He does not seem to enjoy being head down and if he is stubborn like his dad he’s not going to turn into a position he doesn’t want to be in (Paul was a c-section due to being breech). I’m really, really hoping he’ll turn on his own in the next couple weeks but if not I’ll ask my doctor about ECV.

So today marks 29 weeks on the dot, and I must say this week I definitely started feeling pretty third trimester-y, also known as more and more uncomfortable. In an effort to remind myself that no, it’s really not that bad, I thought it might be a good time for a quick comparison of my pregnancy symptoms at 29 weeks versus my lupus flares.

Physical Appearance:

As of Tuesday I weighed about 127lbs or 17lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. At the height of my last flare I weighed almost 140lbs and if all goes according to plan I won’t hit that even by 39-40 weeks. My weight gain during pregnancy appears to be confined to the ever-growing belly and my bo.obs and I’m pretty comfortable with how I look in a bikini right now 🙂 On the other hand, during my last flare I certainly grew a massive, bloated belly (that appeared about 5-6 months pregnant) and also retained water in my legs, and thanks to the prednisone I gained weight (fat) in my thighs, back, neck and face. I felt completely disgusting and gross and hated the sight of myself in the mirror or pictures.

During a couple bad flares my feet swelled up to the point that I could not fit them into my sneakers and a friend who saw them said they looked like play-doh. So far (knock on wood!) I haven’t had any water retention issues during pregnancy.

Flares caused my hair to fall out en masse, whereas after my body adjusted to my new meds (which cause hair loss) I’ve gotten lots of compliments on how nice my hair has looked during this pregnancy (even when I haven’t even brushed it in a few days!). I will say that pregnancy has wreaked havoc on my skin but I have a sneaking suspicion that the condition of my skin could also have something to do with long-term steroid use so who knows…

Physical Limitations:

During my last flare I had to buy a shower chair. When things were at their worst, I literally could not stand up long enough to wash my hair, much less condition or even think about shaving my legs. When I was showing a friend around our (new at the time) condo, he commented about the “pregnancy” chair (his sister had recently had a baby and I’m assuming she bought one during pregnancy which is why he associated it that way) and it was like a knife through my heart. As of right now I haven’t had to use the chair during this pregnancy – not even to shave! – that will probably change in a few more weeks but hey 29 weeks without needing to sit in the shower ain’t bad 🙂

I’m still pretty mobile at this point, I can make it easily up and down the stairs, I do have a little trouble rolling myself out of bed sometimes because I’m not used to being so front heavy! My back does start to hurt if I stand or walk too long but I can still go on shopping trips of reasonable length and walk around the neighborhood without much issue. The times I’m most uncomfortable is actually when I’m sitting in the office and I can feel the kiddo pushing up seemingly under my ribs and my mid-back starts to ache like crazy.

One of the first signs of my last flare (other than the joint pain) was that I could barely walk a half a city block without becoming short of breath and dizzy. Walking up the stairs was a difficult feat, it was painful on my joints and I just didn’t have the energy to do it. I had to take it one step at a time, hold on tight to the banister, and stop to rest on my way up. The swelling in my lower extremities would also get really bad if I stayed on my feet for too long and would actually become painful and make me feel like my feet might actually burst from all the fluid. Needless to say, I did not spend much time walking around or even just standing up.

Joint pain is always excruciating during flares, sometimes debilitating to the point where the simplest every day task feels impossible. I think I’ve mentioned the devastating feeling of barely being capable of wiping yourself after using the bathroom. To be honest, that has gotten a bit tricky during this pregnancy but only because my belly is starting to get in the way! Don’t worry though, I’ve figured out the trick to it 😉

I’ve had some joint pains here and there during pregnancy, mostly in my hips, back and tailbone, but I know it’s small potatoes compared to what I’ve felt in the past. I’m happy to report that (again knock on wood) I haven’t had any carpal tunnel issues that I hear are common in pregnancy.

I’m going to have to finish this up tomorrow because I’m too sleepy to continue. Hopefully I can get a good night’s sleep tonight.

Because no pregnancy would be complete without the unscheduled visit to the OB, I had my first today.

It started yesterday when I noticed a sharp pain in my shoulder that would come and go. I didn’t think much of it but decided to do a quick Google search. That was my first mistake, obviously. Dr. Google, ever the alarmist, told me do not pass go, do not collect $200, call your doctor immediately. Seriously, it actually said, and I quote, “Do not go to bed.” I decided Dr. Google was being ridiculous though and I went to bed but when I started having the pain again at work I decided it probably wouldn’t hurt to call the nurse and see what she thought. She also wasn’t overly concerned but given my medical history decided to squeeze me in with one of the other doctors in the practice after work (my doctor was post-call).

So after work, in the pouring rain, I waddled my pregnant self over to the OB’s office and was told basically nothing. They checked my urine and I am leaking a little more protein than before but I remember my nehpro telling me that that would not be unexpected for me during pregnancy given my history. The OB pretty much echoed that and said given my normal bp reading (120/78) the protein alone was something to note but nothing to raise an alarm about. It does have me rethinking my bright idea to cut my own meds though. Hm…I have an appointment scheduled with my nephro on Monday so we’ll see how it is then I guess.

She also said that shoulder pain is a really rare symptom of pre-eclampsia, she said just to keep monitoring my blood pressure because she’d really expect to see that go up if it was pre-e. She said they more often expect abdominal/liver pain and changes in vision/headaches as symptoms of pre-e so without any of those she doesn’t think the shoulder pain is related.

As for my ultrasound yesterday, they didn’t do growth measurements and the baby was not feeling super cooperative so we couldn’t get any good pictures of his face, boo. But we did get glimpses of his face and holy crap it looks like I’m gestating a chipmunk! This kid is going to have his poor little cheeks pinched nonstop if these ultrasounds are any indication!

They took a sample for a ffn but after checking my cervical length (which was 3.6cm) they decided not to bother sending it in. I’m guessing if I don’t have any other symptoms maybe they will bypass it at my OB visit too? I really don’t like being poked and prodded down there if it’s not necessary and won’t change how my case is treated anyway…

The OB said something kind of weird at the end of my visit that got me wondering once again if this is something said to “normal” preggos or just people like me….she was like, “Anyway, it’s pretty good to get to 27 weeks!” I mean, I guess it is, and I’m thankful that I’ve made it to 27 weeks but I’d really like to get at least another 7 weeks further along if at all possible!

On another note, Paul is planning a short trip to LA when I’ll be 36 weeks pregnant. One of his good friends is getting married so I get him wanting to go but I’m so worried he’ll miss the delivery 🙁 He is flying down Saturday morning and flying back Sunday night and said he obviously won’t go if I’m having any signs of going into labor, but I’m like what if there are no signs?? That doesn’t happen very often though right? I know if I really do suddenly go into labor he can probably catch an earlier flight (after all LA to SF has flights every couple hours) but I’m still a little worried…

Anyway, today is 27 weeks and it’s Friday! So thankful for the weekend, hopefully I can get over my jet lag and recuperate from the traveling.

I’m back from Hawaii and as far as I know all is still well. I’m so thankful that we were able to go on our trip and that nothing scary happened while we were there. The little bub cooperated quite nicely by being active on both the flight there and the flight back and for most of the trip in general. He did have a couple of quiet days but luckily I had the doppler with me for some reassurance.

Paul and I were able to take maternity photos, I’ll post some here when I stop being so lazy. Our photographer was completely amazing and I’m so glad I decided to get my hair/makeup done too! If anyone is going to Oahu and wants to have pictures taken, let me know because I have a great recommendation for you! There are also some belly shots we took ourselves where you can REALLY see how big I’ve gotten. For the most part, when I’m fully dressed you can see a bump but I still look like I’m carrying quite small. Most people are shocked to hear how far along I am (except my mom who seems to think I’m normal to huge).

I can tell that the belly is growing quite a bit though by the beached whale feeling I get when I try to roll myself out of bed. It’s actually pretty funny except when I’m afraid I’ve somehow hurt the baby as I maneuver around (I’m pretty sure I’m not though and I’m just being paranoid). Bending over has also become quite a gargantuan task and requires careful planning and body placement. Today I noticed that a shirt that previously fit just fine over my belly now must be carefully monitored and frequently pulled down so as to avoid flashing bare pregnant belly to my coworkers. I feel like I’m waddling but Paul says no, not really, so I guess I still have a ways to go. I have another ultrasound tomorrow and am excited to see how big the bub has gotten since before we left for Hawaii. At my 25w (exactly) ultrasound he was estimated at 1lb12oz so I’ll be interested to see how far over 2lbs he is now given I feel like I’ve definitely had a growth spurt.

These past few days I’ve been constantly hungry. Unfortunately a lot of what I’ve been craving is food I can’t get in California! We had these amazing Japanese style pork bowls in Oahu and I want one SO bad! I also weirdly started craving wax apples, which is a fruit I’ve only ever had in Taiwan, it looks like a cross between an apple and a pear and is sweet and foamy texture inside. Drooool. But unfortunately they don’t grow in the US and are too fragile to be shipped.

Something else I noticed is that in Hawaii my skin totally cleared up! No new acne at all. Once I got back to SF, a new one sprouted on my chin. Blech. Luckily it’s small, but now I’m convinced it’s a combination of pregnancy hormones and San Francisco that’s been causing all my breakouts. Can’t put all the blame on the kiddo apparently.

My blood pressure did go up a bit while we were in Hawaii, but still within a reasonable range. (Yes I’m the girl that went to Hawaii with my blood pressure cuff and fetal doppler). It was running 120/80 (which is really more like 120/70 since my cuff runs high) but now has dropped back down to 108/72 (which again is more like 108/62) as of my last reading last night.

I also cut my own dose of Imuran because I think they had me on a high-ish dose and I’d really like to be on the minimal dose necessary since I want to breastfeed. I cut myself down to 100mg instead of 150mg and so far *knock on wood* it seems to be fine. From what I’ve read 100mg is a perfectly acceptable dose. Like I said, my bp has been fine, still only trace protein in my urine as of two weeks ago and no joint pain other than those associated with normal pregnancy (lower/mid back pain). I haven’t told my docs yet but plan on letting them each know at my next visit with each of them.

According to my own scale, which I think is most accurate since I weigh myself first thing in the morning, I’m up about 13lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. If I go to 40 weeks and gain 1lb per week this puts me right on track to gain 26lbs which would be the low end of normal for someone with my pre-pregnancy BMI. My doctor said 25-30lbs would be ideal for me since I’m small to begin with so he’s totally happy with where I am.

As for the positive FFN, since my cervix still looked long (3.3-3.6cm) and closed as of the Friday before we left for Hawaii, no one seems overly concerned about it. I also haven’t had any more BH episodes since that week so my OB said just to repeat the FFN when I go in for my monthly exam (in two more weeks).

The best part of the past couple weeks is that I feel the baby SO much more now. I feel him all over my belly now and can feel all types of different movements. I think I’ll be able to start discerning body parts very soon – or at least I hope! Lately he’s been getting the hiccups on a daily basis. It’s starting to become very clear that my body is not just my own anymore and I couldn’t be any happier about it. It’s times like these that I’m actually grateful for all the struggles I faced to get here because I never take any part of this pregnancy for granted. I’m so beyond thankful for the opportunity to be this close to my baby boy, to get to know him better than anyone else in this whole world before anyone even gets to lay eyes on him. It is truly a miracle and so precious to me and I just thank God every day that I get to experience every bit of this. It’s definitely not all fun and games but it’s more than worth any of the discomfort I’ve experienced so far. Maybe this will change as I get bigger and more uncomfortable, but I LOVE being pregnant!

In a little over a week I’ll be 28 weeks, this is significant because this is when Paul and I decided we’d really start buying baby stuff. The survival rate for preemies at 28 weeks is something like 80-90% so while we know anything can still happen, it seems like that is the right time to really start preparing for having a baby live in our house! As of right now we have one half-full box of stuff shoved into our storage closet and besides that you’d never know that we’re supposed to have a baby in just over 13 weeks.

Here’s one pic from our maternity shoot for now until I figure out which ones I want to share.

Ugh. Things have been just too perfect haven’t they? Time to throw a little drama into this pregnancy, but hopefully not too much.

On Monday afternoon, after a day mostly spent relaxing in bed, I noticed I was having a lot of uterus tightening – Braxton Hicks contractions. It was happening frequently enough that I started timing them and noticed they were coming every ten minutes or so and while they didn’t exactly hurt it was starting to make my stomach feel quite sore. It started around 3 or 4pm and went on until about 7pm. I decided not to call the doctor since it went away.

On Tuesday afternoon I was sitting at the computer for a few hours, rushing to finish up an assignment due for my early childhood ed class when around 3:30pm or so I noticed I was having the tightening again. My uterus didn’t always get rock hard every time, sometimes it would just become noticeably tight, but again they seemed to be coming every 8-10 minutes or so. I decided if it didn’t go away by the time I showered and had dinner and relaxed on the couch for awhile I would call the emergency line, but by around 7pm it went away again.

I had an appointment with my OB yesterday so I mentioned it to him and he decided to do a FFN just to put our minds at ease, especially with me going to Hawaii this weekend. The FFN test if negative is very predictive that you will NOT be going into labor anytime soon, but the positive result is more ambiguous. It could mean something or it could mean nothing. When he was taking the sample he said that the swab brushing against the cervix had caused a little blood so not to freak out if I had some spotting or discharge but I saw the sample he took and it looked quite pink.

Of course, I got home and started googling and lo and behold, blood in the sample is very likely to cause a false positive. And, of course, I had zero BH contractions yesterday and today.

I finally spoke with my OB this afternoon and he said he had wanted to wait to call me until he spoke with my MFM and I knew that this couldn’t be good news. He said he was surprised by the result, he had run the test expecting a negative result (based on my symptoms and how my cervix looked when he took the sample – he said it looked close and thick) but it turned out to be positive. However, he and my MFM said they think this is likely to be a “red herring” and said they don’t think I need to do anything unless I start having painful contractions, in which case go to L&D to be monitored. Also, they want me to make sure to mention the positive test at my u/s tomorrow so that the tech checks my cervical length. Assuming no painful contractions and a cervical length above 3cm, they think it’s okay for us to continue on with our Hawaii plans.

It’s just so frustrating because in my gut I really don’t feel like this is anything. I was a little bit worried after Tuesday and my stomach felt so sore from all the tightening, but yesterday was totally fine and let’s face it, the belly is starting to really grow now, noticeably so this week, which can cause BH contractions and all the soreness everywhere.

I think as long as my cervix is nice and long tomorrow, we will feel okay about going on as planned. Obviously if it’s short or even borderline, I think we are just going to cancel and eat the cost of whatever isn’t cancelled in time to recoup deposits. Both my doctor’s are in agreement that the cervix length will mean more than the FFN result so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that everything is still looking long and closed tomorrow.

Yesterday we passed the 24 week mark, better known as VIABILITY! in my mind anyway.

I decided to finally make the dreaded FB announcement, sans any photos, ultrasound or otherwise, as I know there are people who’s feeds I will show up in for whom this could be a sensitive topic. Those people had already been previously personally informed about my pregnancy so I knew it would not be a blow out of left field for them, but I still did feel that little tug of guilt knowing the feelings seeing a pregnancy announcement could bring. For those out there that might be having problems that I don’t know about, I tried to leave a clue that hopefully makes it clear that I’m not some clueless preggo – I mentioned being grateful to have made it to 24 weeks and how we’re praying that things stay boring and uneventful.

In one week Paul and I will be getting on a plane to paradise. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous as hell about flying the closer we get to our departure date. My doctors have all assured me they have no concerns about the flight, just that I should stay hydrated and get up and make sure to get up and walk frequently in the plane. I also ordered some compression stockings which should hopefully help prevent any swelling.

I think part of my nervousness stems simply from knowing too much. I’m not really scared of the flight itself causing issues, it’s just that lately I’ve been absolutely, ridiculously paranoid that I’m leaking fluid. I say it’s ridiculous because, well, I have no real reason to think I’m leaking fluid. I’m not soaking any pantyliners, I don’t have any leakage when I cough or sneeze, and I’m pretty sure that when I do find spots of wetness on my liners that it’s discharge or, um, pee (sorry, TMI, I know). So what I’m really afraid of is that I’ll go into preterm labor in flight and have the baby nowhere near a Level III NICU because I’ll be thousands of miles in the air, in the middle of the pacific ocean. Not very rational, I know. At least, I hope it’s not?

It’s funny because whenever I read websites about preeclampsia or preterm labor or just anything about anything that can go wrong with pregnancy in general (why do I read these things? I have no idea) they always say to trust your instincts. But what do you do when your instincts have a tendency to be a hypochondriac?

I’m a worrier. And a lot of the time what I’m worried about turns out to be absolutely nothing. Case in point: When I spent thousands of dollars (thank GOD for pet insurance) because my cat was throwing up and after numerous vet visits (emergency and regular) we got one traumatized cat (from having to stay overnight at the pet hospital) whose labs all indicated she was generally healthy but maybe just had an upset stomach.

Sigh. So I’m trying to push all the paranoia out of my mind and look at things logically. I’m having my GD test today, hopefully it’ll be negative and one less thing to worry about on the trip. I also have an OB visit on Wednesday so I’m thinking about seeing if he can do a fern test just to put my mind at ease about the whole leakage paranoia. And then, I have another PR interval (ultrasound) on Friday the day before we leave so I’ll get to see the little one and be reassured his heartbeat is nice and strong, and I’ll ask the ultrasound to do a quick scan of my cervix just to reassure myself it’s still nice and long.

Paul and I were talking about how it’s both a blessing and a curse to have a high risk pregnancy. At times like these (i.e. when things are going smoothly), I’m so grateful for all the extra monitoring I receive because I think I would probably lose my mind as a “normal” preggo who gets two ultrasounds and monthly OB visits. Although, Dr. MFM doesn’t want to see me for two months between visits this time and I’m kind of freaking out! I was counting on having a visit with him the week after I got back from my trip to get a peek at the little guy. Luckily, I was able to schedule another PR interval for that week so I’ll still get to check in like the paranoid mama that I am.

I’m officially 19 weeks pregnant today! Five weeks until viability – it still sounds much too far away, but at the same time I’m so thankful to have made it this far. Hopefully we’ll be meeting our healthy baby boy 18-20 weeks from now and not a day sooner!

Last Wednesday we had our anatomy scan (17w5d) and the first careful inspection of baby’s heart function to check for any blockages. So far, *knock on wood*, so good. Baby boy was measuring right on track (actually slightly ahead at 18w, but he has consistently been a couple days ahead) at a healthy 8oz and all limbs and organs looked perfect. The ultrasound tech spent a long time looking at his heart and said that so far she couldn’t detect any blockages and everything looks normal. They will recheck every two weeks, including a full fetal ECG with a pediatric cardiologist at 22w.

I read a lot of blogs where women cry during their ultrasounds and I never have. I’ve never really even felt the urge to cry. But for some reason as the tech looked at the heart over and over again I felt myself start to tear up. Something about the image of that tiny heart beating away, realizing it was inside of me, it finally felt so real. My baby growing inside of me….but then she started looking at everything else and I managed to collect myself so I still haven’t really cried at an ultrasound hehe.

According to our integrated screening results our chance of Down Syndrome is 1/13,000 and chance of Trisomy 18 is 1/100,000, so no more testing has been recommended.

Yay for normal test results! This is probably the only area of his life where his parents will be so overjoyed about completely unremarkable test results 🙂 (The kid is asian after all!)

The best part of the scan was that the tech managed to get us some great 3D shots of baby boy’s face and even a 3D video where he lifts his hand up to his face and starts sucking his thumb! Actually it looks like he might be trying to pick his nose but after watching it a few hundred (thousand) times I’m pretty sure he really is sucking his thumb. It was so hard not to laugh as the tech captured it because it really did look like nose picking – but I didn’t want to mess up the image!

Based on this picture I’m pretty sure this kid is going to look just like his daddy! He definitely has the lips and this makes me so happy. I’ve always told my husband that I want a little Paul and it looks like I just might get my wish.

This week, I think I may have finally “popped.” The belly is suddenly unhideable and my coworkers are starting to say they see a little something. I even got my first stranger comment! Of course I was wearing a shirt that totally accentuated the bump and kept rubbing my belly all night (I was volunteering at a networking event for recent immigrant professionals), but still, one of the job-seekers I was talking to pointed at my belly and said, “Oh!”

I’ve noticed I started waddling a bit. I can’t seem to help it, it’s just the most comfortable way of walking for some reason. And I can’t really slouch anymore because when I do the belly feels all squished and uncomfortable, so it’s actually been really great for my posture. I started prenatal yoga last weekend so hopefully that will help with that too.

Everything seems to be accelerating this week, my appetite is getting so much better and hopefully my weight will soon follow now that I’m eating more.

But the absolute best thing is that I’m starting to feel stronger kicks and wriggles more regularly! Probably a lot of elbows too, since this is Paul’s kid we’re talking about (he is forever elbowing me in his sleep). There’s no real pattern to it yet but I savor every kick, punch and elbow.

Funny story, this morning the space shuttle flew by our office window and when I got up to go stand by the window and look, he kept kicking me over and over again! That was the first time I felt him while standing and I told Paul maybe he wants to be an astronaut. Unfortunately his father pointed out that with our vision genes that’s probably not going to work out so great for him. Doh! Maybe they’ll allow surgery corrected vision by the time he’s all grown up?

Last night I asked Paul to start using his Ne.xus 7 as an alarm clock since he now gets up about an hour earlier than I do and the alarm clock is on my side of the bed.

Of course, this morning when it went off he fumbled with it for a bit before accidentally knocking it off the nightstand (scaring the crap out of the cat who was sleeping at our feet) and then fumbled about for a few more minutes until he finally figured out how to shut it off.

Right after things quieted down I felt a few big thumps coming from way down low just above my pubic bone. I’ve felt a lot more of what I’m pretty sure are kicks and punches in the last week but this morning was the first time where there was zero doubt in my mind of what I was feeling. (I think maybe it was so low that it was actually beneath where my placenta is and so I was able to feel it more clearly?) I put my hand on my uterus and felt a few more hard thumps on my hand!

I called for Paul to come over but by the time he put his hand on my belly the kicking had stopped.

I guess this kid does NOT appreciate being woken up! It was like he was saying, “Yo, keep it down out there! Can’t you see a baby’s trying to sleep?”