The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. – Henry David Thoreau
It’s sad, isn’t it, how true it is? Lately, I feel like it’s becoming very true of my own life. I wake up every morning and think to myself, really? This is my life? How did I get here? What am I doing? Where am I going?
Not to say, my life isn’t blessed in many ways. As someone reminded me the other day, I have a wonderful husband which on most days is a salve for most of what pains me. I have amazingly supportive parents, family, extended family. I have known my best friends in the world for more years of my life than I have not known them. That is pretty incredible, isn’t it? While my job mostly leaves me unfulfilled, I do have a job, which as I keep reminding myself, is also pretty incredible. My health could be better, but mostly it seems to be okay, which is definitely better than the alternative.
And yet…the second part of the quote rings true as well.
What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.
There are obviously things in my life that I am not happy about. Am I doing enough to change them? Maybe not. Maybe I’m just too comfortable, resigned to the idea that because of all I have, I should not continue to expect more. Sometimes I do feel that way, like when you’ve been blessed with so much, it’s ungrateful to feel like somehow, it’s just not enough.
I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Except…that I do feel resigned to a life of quiet desperation at this moment in time. Whatever that means.
Does anyone have a cupcake? Preferrably chocolate. Thanks.