transcended.net

What can I say?  I still love this movie.

I love that Claire likes overalls (I thought I was the only one!) and can’t figure out the whole “be like Mona”-thing (i.e. mysterious, sexy and poker-faced) to save her life.  Cause yeah, that’s pretty much me in a nut-shell, I don’t think I’ve ever been interested in a guy and not eventually told him.  I hate “the game” (because I suck at it) which is just another reason to thank my lucky stars I’m already married. 

Her portrayal of the comically tragic aftermath of a breakup is right on-point (or at least pretty much exactly how I handled myself anyway) and all the substance-abuse laden steps towards healing (um, no comment). I love the symbolism of the lucky shoe and how at the end she gives it back to the ex, smiles and leaves.  It kind of makes me sad that I never got a moment like that. 

I’m sure I probably loved the whole thing even more when I was where Claire was emotionally.  And I wonder, how did I manage to find this obscure, independent film right when I needed it?  I have no clue how I even heard of it.  Maybe something I saw one of those sleepless nights spent crying and moping and watching late night tv and movies.  Actually, that sounds right.  

It’s weird but this movie actually brought me a lot of comfort during a pretty crappy time.  It’s a perfect depiction of a person getting dumped by someone she thought she might spend the rest of her life with (i.e. not getting out of bed for days, but not really sleeping, not eating, and definitely not taking any showers).  Because suddenly you no longer see the value of personal hygiene.  And you have other, more pressing things to do.  Things like, staring off into space and crying for hours.  Constructive stuff like that.  If my best friend hadn’t driven down to LA to rescue me and drag me out of bed, I likely could have been there for days (weeks?) longer, so yeah, thank God for her. 

But besides that, it’s just comforting in a very cheesy way to see someone else go through the same thing and then move on. 

Honestly, when I look back at my own life though, I don’t know what I did.  I mean, I literally started dating like a week later and a couple weeks after that met Peter, who I dated for four months before Paul and I got together…I wouldn’t trade my hubby for anything (trust me, I know how lucky I am) but sometimes I feel sad for the 21 year-old version of me who couldn’t even face the prospect of actually healing on her own before desperately seeking out someone else to make herself feel better (I managed to date a surprisingly lot of guys in that brief window of being single, but I’ll save all that for another post).

BUT my complete and utter inability to be alone did lead to a ridiculously perfect husband so I guess sometimes low self-esteem can pay off.  Who would have thought?