I’m afraid I’m running out of steam. I was really banging it out with the posts for awhile there right? I would start drafts and then actually go back and finish them, which is something I’ve never done before. I thought I was turning a corner.
These past few days though, I find myself back in that place where my brain can’t even find a way to translate thoughts into actual words with letters and everything.
Work has been keeping me deliciously occupied. It takes everything I have out of me and by the end of the day I can honestly say that my brain? Just barely functioning.
Maybe it’s the weather but I’ve been particularly tired this week, which is unfortunate since it’s been a catch up week, as in catching up with people that I’ve either a) postponed on too many times already or b) people from out of town…basically people that I can’t push off. So far we had Paul’s brother with us this past weekend from Boston, dinner with friends last night, tutoring and then straight to wine-tasting (cause that just screams good role model, dontcha think?) with friends at the Ferry Building tonight, drinks/dinner on Friday with a former coworker (who was becoming hubby’s new bff before he got let go and moved) and then brunch with Helen and Grace on Saturday.
That might not sound like a lot to most people, but seriously? I do not like to do anything that prevents me from changing directly into my pajamas after work, and I have been sitting around with my bra still on after 3:30 pm TOO MANY DAYS this week people!
So not cool.
It has been good though. It’s definitely nice to see people and get some quality time with them, so I’m not really complaining (a lot).
And to circle back to work, things there have been really good. It was a bit scary today though because we found out there was a round of layoffs going on and a couple people from our office were let go yesterday. No one in my group was affected, but the two people who were let go sat on the desk with us and I was friends with both of them. We’ve actually all hung out together after work for “girls nights” because there aren’t that many women in the office…and two less now.
So that was definitely hard today. And I think it just reminded everyone that we can all be cut at any time. One of the people who was let go was fairly senior, well-liked and from what we’ve been told the cuts were not performance based so that wasn’t the issue either. Everyone was pretty shocked to hear that she was gone…I definitely was. There aren’t a lot of older women in front office roles in finance, just because it was even more of a boys club even as recently as ten years ago, and she was definitely someone who seemed competent and well-respected by her male peers. I guess I figured I had plenty of time to pick her brain and observe her and it was disappointing to find out that that wasn’t the case. And of course, I’m upset for her and her family. Not gonna go into details since they’re not mine to share but this can’t be easy on her on several different levels.
Just got home from wine tasting and it’s 9:30PM.
Yes, I’m totally screwed. And I have a review with both MD’s I report to directly tomorrow morning and I don’t know what any of my future goals are ><
Let’s repeat in unison: SCREWED!