transcended.net

Another hectic, chaotic and above all, another change-filled week at work to follow the last one.

Long story short?

I lost half my team this week.  They moved onto better opportunities so nothing to be sad or disturbed about on that front, but well, change always makes me uncomfortable.  I know this makes me a total lame-o, but I’ve always been one of those people who approaches major changes in life with a weary suspicion as opposed to exuberance and/or excitement.

Although part of me does wonder…

In my last post, I was sort of all but flat out asking God for a sign, don’t you think?  I don’t know if that came through, but I was really praying last week, is this job right for me?  Is this what I should be doing, not even long-term, but even right now?  I was starting to really wonder if maybe the time was here for me to seriously start thinking about whether or not this is good for me – mainly because I was starting to feel like it probably isn’t.

But all the things that happened this week?  They felt like doors opening for me without me even having to move.  Doors I still don’t even know if I want open, but nevertheless doors that seemed to have been blown wide open by this crazy breeze called life.

So maybe this is my sign?  Not the one I expected, but still, maybe this is it?

I’m still not convinced that this is what I’m meant to do for the rest of my life, but I do recognize that especially when it comes to my career, God has always spoken pretty loudly and clearly.  Things have always just gone in a direction where things have ultimately worked out for the best – that is of course unless I’m completely wrong and have actually gone done a terrible path that will actually ultimately lead to an early demise and lots of misery.

I don’t know!!

Agh!

Why can’t I just be happy about good things happening?  What the hell is wrong with me?

Don’t answer that.