If I had balls, the universe would have totally kicked me in them today.
1) First thing in the morning, one of the senior people I work with told me he has to leave early tomorrow because he “has to do something with his wife.” I didn’t really think much of it until later when I heard him on the phone with HR asking about his FSA account and whether or not it would cover any of his dependents like his “wife or…if we have kids…” As horrible as this sounds, my stomach just completel sank. Maybe I’m reading too much into these two conversations, but I am bracing myself for a pregnancy announcement two months from now. I hate the feeling of dread that washed over me when I realized (made up?) what was going on. And I’m dreading the inevitable uptick in pregnancy-birth-baby talk with one more new/expectant dad in the row. It just makes it that much harder for me to take a step back from the selfish little brat inside of me screaming “I want a baby now, now, NOW!” and seriously think about whether getting pregnant is the right thing for us given the risks.
2) Overheard a conversation the other senior guy I work with was having with a client. A client who’s wife is apparently at the stage of pregnancy now where you can start announcing it to people. Super happy for him (he is one of my favorite clients and seems like a great dad) but yet another pregnancy that’s not mine which I will get to follow and hear all about the miracle of.  I know that sounded really bitter, but the sad thing is, I’m honestly not. I’m just, well, sad. (for me).
3) I am a little bit bitter, though, about the random pregnant lady standing in front of the door to my building when I got home today. Just loitering there, chatting on her cell phone, and in the way just enough that I had to wait for her to move so I could open the door. Really universe? Really? That was overkill don’t you think?
Oh and also today, scheduled a dinner in a couple weeks with the two “expectant” clients and my senior guy that already has kids (including baby twins) so anyone want to take a stab at what the hot topic is going to be? Sigh.