um…..

I’m freaking out in a major way right now.

I started feeling really down about our chances over the weekend because I wasn’t feeling anything out of the ordinary.  No sore bo.obies, no out of the ordinary sensations, just normal normal normal.  I knew it was early but for some reason I just started feeling like this is not going to happen this month.

However, at work today, I started thinking, maybe I should just go ahead and test since I’m seeing my nephro today anyway and on the very slight chance I saw anything I could ask to have a blood test done.

I held my pee all day for the last four hours of work and as soon as I got in the house I ran upstairs, peed into a cup and dipped the test in.  I really, truly expected to see what I’ve always seen in the past – the test line and stark white nothingness.  Especially since I’m only 9dpo, I figured the chances were slim of seeing anything even if I do get pregnant this cycle.

I waited about four minutes and looked at the test.  At first glance, I was like meh, negative as expected.  But then I looked a little harder and took my glasses off and put it almost up to my face.  I thought there was something really faint there.  I ran out of the restroom to the window and stared at it under the sunlight.  A line so faint that I really couldn’t tell if it was just that I’d been staring so hard at the test line that I was seeing a line where there wasn’t one.

Commence massive sweating and freak out.  I called my doctors office to see if they’d let me come in early to take a blood test but they said just to come in at the appt time and if it makes sense they will order one for me then.

I took a picture of it for my friend EndoJourney to inspect (she confirmed that at least the line is not in my head, but now I’m like wait I took that pic after ten minutes, what if it’s an evap line?!?) and couldn’t figure out why the picture was so blurry until I realized I didn’t have my glasses on.  As you can tell by this incredibly disjointed post.  I am freaking the fuck out right now.  Please, please, please don’t be a ghost line or any other kind of messing with my head line.

Leaving for doc now.  Hopefully will have something better to post later.

One comment

  1. Hillary says:

    What?! Any more news?! That sounds very hopeful!!!