I feel the need to add the caveat that I fully recognize the fact that my mom only drives me crazy because she cares and is trying to do what she thinks is best.
I appreciate that she has me and the baby’s best interests at heart and the fact that she’s willing to help us with the baby when he comes.
But how do I resolve this issue that I have to feel like the one in charge of MY baby when the time comes? Has anyone else run into this problem? How do you deal with it?
Yes! Definitely run into it. Have absolutely no idea how to handle it yet. So sorry you have to deal with this stress on top of everything else. I hope she gets it soon!
I totally get that, though my mom and mil are generally reasonable people. I feel like allowing help usually means ceding control, unless you pay the person to follow your instructions (daycare, domestic helper). Lots of moms here let the grandma raise baby; it works out but usually because the grandma does get to make the decisions. There doesn’t seem to be a whole lot of variations in practice though. What about seeing how it goes while you are on maternity leave, and leaving the daycare card open? Really good daycares document everything for parents, and they are trained. Con is the getting sick often. You’ll get to see how cheeks responds to your mom too. By three months, A showed a preference for and against the grandparents, so there was nothing I had to say about who was doing things right.
Yeah, I’m really hoping that’s the case! I’m glad now that I already told my mom that for the first two weeks it’s going to be just me and Paul and hopefully I can prove to her that I can take care of my baby! I feel bad because she means well, she’s even offered to take night shifts with the baby because she knows I need my sleep, but I just worry about how bonded to me he’s going to be if someone else is taking care of him all the time. I figure with maternity leave I don’t have to sleep at night, I can do the whole sleep when the baby sleeps thing and it might actually be easier to not have another person in the house for awhile. I don’t know!! I wish I really knew what it’s going to be like to have a newborn, but I guess we’ll know soon enough!