So I’m not even sure what my last update was but since it appears to have been back in May (?! Where has the time gone?) I’m guessing it is very out of date now.
Allow me to catch you up in a nutshell: had a bunch of wonky test results that led to more and more tests, culminating with a renal angiogram that ultimately revealed no blockage and then my creatinine suddenly started falling back to normal levels on its own around that time. My doctors (every last one of them) continues to make the “I’m baffled” face at me everytime we meet. Fun stuff.
But anyway the medical folks seem sufficiently happy with my current state of health and we’ve received the customary blessing from to go forth and try to procreate if we want. Ah hah, finally I am sort of on equal footing to the “normal” population that doesn’t need medical sign off when it comes to family planning. Of course, now that the decision is finally in our hands and only our hands, we seem to be a bit lost as to how to proceed.
We are comfortable in our lives, sometimes stretched a bit too thin, the house gets messy, we’re always late and rushing….our favorite thing is to laze around the house all day together watching tv and taking naps. Selfishly I think Pau and I are worried about us how another small human to care for would impact our day to day life. How it affects our finances, schedules, everything.
It just seems like a lot. Children are a blessing of course but it might also just be selfish to bring another child into our lives knowing that it could significantly decrease the quality of life that T and we currently have.
So it’s weird because we can try now and we’re not not trying but we are clearly incredibly ambivalent about this whole thing for now. I’m sure if I actually do get pregnant I will be over the moon but until then…I guess I’m just kind of worried.