transcended.net

So I have this scathing letter to our underwriter all typed up and ready to post as soon as we finally *knock on wood* close on our loan. But since a little part of me is seriously afraid that somehow she will stumble upon my website, find the note berating her and then deny us the loan, I will not post it until after we close. When I can stick my tongue out at her as I say whatever the hell I please.

As an aside, really not happy about the way Game 5 of the WCF just went down. But, I’m starting to think the Suns can push this to 7 and maybe, just maybe, Hobe will get injured. Why can’t he be the recipient of an elbow-to-the-face-inducing-concussion? WHY?

Ah well. I have spent the day trying to keep my blood pressure under control while simultaneously being extremely stressed out over pretty much every little thing. Work. Dealing with this dang underwriting process. Not studying for The Very Big Test. Oh and I had a double cheeseburger and small fries for lunch.

Such. A. Bad. Idea.

Right after wolfing down my sodium ladened lunch, I got an email forwarded to me from our realtor with more excuses from our lender as to why the loan could not be completed today, blah blah blah. Instantly I felt my blood pressure skyrocket. I don’t think the typical 27yo knows what it feels like when your blood pressure spikes, but I’m pretty sure I do.

Anyway, now that we’re winding down to bedtime, I’m trying to relax and ignore the fact that the Lakers, whom I hate with all my heart, won. Tomorrow is a half day and after that is a week off to “study” (if I can even bring myself to do it). So I just need to make it through the day…and boy do I have a lot of crap to handle in six hours (wait that’s not a half day, that’s a 3/4 day, I’m getting ripped off!).

I am going to try really, really hard not to be a total downer today. Although, I must say, this weather is killing me. Why the $*#& is it still raining?? In MAY? It seems like a lot of people around here are either sick or suffering from prolonged allergies because it just won’t freaking stop raining. Or rather, it will rain for a day or two, brighten up, and then start raining again a few days later. Seriously, wtf? I pay a big fucking premium to live here for a reason, I want my nice weather dammit.

Okay, I’m done with my little spoiled California girl hissy fit. For now.

On a brighter note, it looks like we are inching towards the finish line in this whole real estate purchasing fiasco, and may even close on time! Of course, my dear wonderful husband who has a penchant for shopping like a 16 year old girl who has just been given her first credit card and told to go wild, has discovered Room and Board (and yes, of course, I’m the idiot that introduced him to the store) and we are about to be a whole lot poorer. It’s okay, we don’t need to eat right? We’ll have really high quality console tables instead! And a dining table we don’t have to piece together ourselves with the handy-dandy IKEA tool.

Paul says we are grown ups now and therefore IKEA furniture is no longer acceptable. Apparently being grown up means you have to buy really expensive furniture that weighs so much you can’t possibly move it anywhere without first taking a trip to Home Depot to pick up some help. But R&B has a flat fee for delivery, so really we’re saving money by ordering more. Silly me, I never thought of it that way…

Sigh, I love my husband, but thank God we don’t both shop like women or we’d have to live out of the boxes our furniture comes in.

Aaand, this probably doesn’t qualify as a cheerful post, but it’s the closest I can muster right now. I tried.

Maybe it’s because I’ve pretty much felt like crap for ten consecutive days now, but I saw a glimpse of myself in the sideview mirror today and I thought to myself, Thank God I married young. Because, seriously? I don’t know how twenty-seven (almost twenty-eight) year old me would fare attempting to attract a husband. Probably…not well. To put it nicely.

Some weird stuff has been happening with my body in the past couple weeks and while I’m sort of used to being utterly disappointed in my body, it’s starting to get to me. Today I actually wondered if I was dying, not in a melodramatic way I don’t think, but in a, hm, what if I’m about to go into heart failure or something? Because something just does not feel right. I can’t put my finger on it.

Still don’t feel like going into too much detail about what happened last week but suffice to say going to the doctor did not give me any answers or make me feel any better. And the way I’m feeling today is only making the question mark bigger. Cramping to the point where I feel dizzy and light-headed days after my “period” (or whatever the bloody hell that was) is not normal for me. So something is definitely wrong. And I’m tired. And I really don’t want to go to work tomorrow.

And I’m feeling bad for my husband because he’s stuck with me. And he’s busy cooking me a wonderful dinner while I sit around looking gross, feeling sorry for myself and generally wanting to crawl into a dark hole somewhere to wallow as I moan in pain. Oh wait, I’m already doing that.

Okay, I’m done being such a joyful ray of sunshine. Let’s try this again some other time and I will regale you with happy stories…