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Just popping in real quick to say that not long after my last post Baby T was born screaming at 5lbs exactly and 18.5 inches. He is still in the NICU and there are a few complications but he is mostly doing well. More details and pictures when things settle down!

In the past two days I’ve had an appointment with my nephro, a trip to the lab, a trip to L&D for a midnight NST, a scheduled NST and an appointment with Dr. MFM2 (Dr. MFM’s associate).

It’s a good thing they’ve already pulled me out of work because going to the hospital appears to be my new full time job.

Mr. Cheeks failed (another) NST today which means I get to go back to the hospital (again) tomorrow for my third NST in three days. Luckily he’s passed all his biophysical profiles, once again breathing and moving like a champ on the ultrasound, but no accelerations for some reason. They said they wouldn’t be so worried about it, except that he passed his first two NST’s with flying colors. So what the heck baby? No more failing!!

On the bright side, the appointment with Dr. MFM2 went pretty well. She was concerned about the failed NST’s but happy about his BPP’s. She did another ultrasound and remarked about how low he is and that he’s getting ready to drop very, very soon. Yay! Hopefully that means he’s ready to be induced a bit before his due date. I think this also explains why I haven’t been feeling him the same way in the last few days, why his movements are softer and lower than I’m used to.

My blood pressure is still good/acceptable and labs remain stable. She explained that someone without my history of proteinuria and lupus would probably be induced now (with my lab results) but knowing my history (and that I always leak protein) they still feel comfortable letting me go to 37 weeks. So more confirmation that the right thing to do is plan for not going much past 37 weeks. She did say that things have gone very well so far, which is great to hear because it gives me hope that when the time comes everyone will feel okay about a second pregnancy.

They also set me up with a growth scan for next Monday so we can see how much Cheeks has grown in the last four weeks! I’m curious to see if he’s kept up his 1lb every two week rate, if so he’ll be just over six pounds at 35w3d!

Tomorrow, in addition to my NST, we have a meet and greet with a potential pediatrician. I’m feeling good about him because a) his Yelp reviews are great, b) he’s one of the doctors recommended by Dr. OB and c) when I mentioned him to the L&D nurse last night she said she loves him. Hopefully he lives up to the hype.

Thursday we have the first of a two part newborn parenting class. Luckily that’s all I have that day and then Friday I finally have a day of nothing! Saturday we have our hospital tour and then my second baby shower.

In between all of that I’m trying to muster up the energy to clean up the bedroom which is FILTHY. The floor needs to be mopped, everything is everywhere, the bathroom needs a thorough scrubbing and I need to clean out some drawers for Cheeks’ clothes! But I’m still having intermittent contractions so I’m supposed to stay off my feet and avoid bending/lifting so nesting is kind of tough to do right now.

Please, please, please Cheeks pass your NST tomorrow! That’s really the only thing that’s worrying me and kind of making it so I do want him out (see yesterday’s post). I want to stay pregnant for as long as possible but these non-stress tests are really starting to stress me out!

Sooo, of course after I wrote my last post Cheeks largely went dark on me. Very little movement after breakfast outside of a few teeny rib kicks while I waited to get my labs drawn (around 5pm). I kept waiting and waiting because he normally gets active in the evenings but by the time I got in bed to do kick counts around 9:00pm he still hadn’t moved much at all, or at least not that I could feel.

Normally the way I do kick counts is that after I lie down, I wait until I feel the first kick to start counting the time. He usually moves in bunches so if I do it that way I typically get 10 movements within 15-30min, the longest so far has been about 45min. Last night I went almost 30min with zero movements after I felt the first teeny kick. This was with me poking and gently pushing down on my belly which usually makes him poke back or squirm.

Trying not to panic, I got myself a small bowl of sorbet hoping it would get him moving. He did pick it up a little bit but by the 1hr mark I had only gotten about 6-7 movements that I was sure were movements. I did feel a few fluttery-feeling things but couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just gas or something.

I decided to call the urgent care line and they asked me to go into triage. Once again I felt so bad because Paul was already drifting off to sleep (and doesn’t have the luxury of not having to go to work in the morning) but he was worried and wanted to come with so off to the hospital we went.

Of course, right after I hung up the phone with the nurse I felt three little kicks and then felt him squirming a bit as we drove over. Ah well, we were already on our way so decided to continue.

Once we arrived they got me hooked up to the monitors pretty quickly and got a nice strong heartbeat. Cheeks then proceeded to flip out, kicking at the monitors and trying to squirm away (but he’s too big to get very far!). After thirty minutes the nurse came back and I told her I was feeling him quite a bit now but unfortunately she checked the strip and said he wasn’t having accelerations like they like to see.

That almost completely freaked me out but the next nurse that came in said it was fine because they were seeing good variability in the heartrate and no decels. The in-house OB decided to do a bpp just for peace of mind before sending us home and as soon as she put the ultrasound wand on my belly we saw a little baby wiggling away. She moved it to where his arms and legs were and he immediately showed off with a couple big kicks (which I didn’t feel*). Then she started measuring his fluid and while she was doing this he started breathing! It was pretty cool to see his little abdomen puffing up and down, she commented that they only needed to see it for 30 seconds but he was going to blow that out of the water. She also started laughing and said that he must just want attention because he was doing so well on the bpp. After he finished showing off his breathing she finished up measuring my fluid, it’s been between 15-19 and it was 14 last night so she was happy with that.

I’ve come to the conclusion that Cheeks is just wanting to make up for no more PR intervals by earning himself a few extra ultrasounds. Paul thinks maybe he’ll want to be an actor when he grows up since he loves being on camera so much 🙂

* I’m guessing that maybe after breakfast he moved into a position where most of his movements were being shielded by my placenta since I was only feeling very muted movements and couldn’t feel the kicks we saw on the monitor.

The reality that my time as a pregnant lady is coming to a close is starting to set in and I don’t know how I feel about it.

I’m less than three weeks away from 37 weeks, at which point it sounds like any sniff of an “off” lab result is likely going to result in an induction. Soo, given that, we’re basically planning to bring home a baby in three weeks.

Every time I complain about being huge and uncomfortable, Paul jokingly asks me if I “want him out yet?” The honest answer to that is no. As much as there are aspects of being pregnant that aren’t awesome (like the whole beached whale feeling every time I have to get up from a laying down position), I have really enjoyed being pregnant and want to savor every moment of it. I’m not confident in my abilities as a mom, but I think I’m okay at being pregnant. I think Paul is actually more eager to have him out so he can start being a dad (which he’s going to be AMAZING at)!

The truth is I don’t deal well with change and it’s starting to hit me that everything is about to change.

More truth? The thing I’m most scared of is that I’ll resent the baby because I won’t have Paul 100% to myself once he’s here. Is that crazy? On second thought, don’t answer that. I know it is.

Anyway, given that we finally figured out it’s crunch time and we couldn’t put things off any longer, we’ve really kicked into high gear with preparing for Cheeks’ imminent arrival. Our house is actually starting to resemble a place where a baby might be living soon! I even laundered some baby clothes and Paul installed the carseat! We still don’t have a lot of things but I’m hoping that our baby shower this weekend will take care of a lot of what we’re missing. If not, I’m joining Ama.zon Mom on Sunday and will start ordering all the remaining essentials off our registry.

I also decided on a traditional Chinese postpartum meal delivery service which should relieve the stress of figuring out meals for the first month. I’m not totally sold on the postpartum “confinement” period but I have decided to do my own version of it. I told my mom I’m only going to do what I’m comfortable with and am just hoping she respects that.

According to eastern beliefs, the 30-45 days after a woman gives birth is a critical time where she has the ability to “reset” her body. The idea is that if you take proper care of yourself during this period you can improve health issues you had from before the pregnancy and avoid common complaints that women have after pregnancy (i.e. backaches, headaches, etc.). I think there is some basis for this in western medicine as well, for example the idea that pregnancy can potentially “cure” endometriosis, not only because you don’t get a period for 9-10 months, but also because it sort of resets the hormones in your body. I’ve heard stories of women who have had their lupus symptoms completely disappear after pregnancy so, I’m hoping maybe I can be one of those lucky ones!

My doctors have all warned me that bad flares are common postpartum so I’ve decided that in addition to the traditional meals (which I’m doing as much for convenience as for the potential health benefits!) I’m going to adhere to the parts that call for taking it super easy and being pampered 🙂 Paul has agreed that at least while he’s home he’s going to do the bulk of the baby care. Outside of breastfeeding, he’ll be doing all the diapering, cleaning and soothing.

I will probably leave the house and shower and wash my hair, but I think the logic behind not doing any of those things is a bit anachronistic in that they were mainly all geared towards not letting yourself get cold in an age where there wasn’t much access to hot water and homes were drafty. So I’m modifying it a bit to things like, when I do leave the house, I’ll be well bundled (including a warm hat!) and when I shower I’ll make sure to dry off and get into warm clothes right away (like while I’m still in the steamy bathroom). I’ve agreed to wash my hair less frequently but not stop altogether, but when I do wash my hair I promised my mom I’d wash it with ginger which is supposed to keep your head warmer (I figure this can’t hurt right?) and I’ll blow dry my hair immediately and thoroughly instead of walking around with damp hair like I normally do.

Oh and I’m also planning to do the belly binding, although not with a traditional wrap but instead using a postpartum corset or something along those lines. I’ve done some research and a lot of women (non-Asian) do it and it sounds like it really works. Maybe now that I actually have some bo.obs I can work my way to an hourglass figure for the first time in my life 🙂

Tomorrow I have another NST, Cheeks has been back to his active little self these last few days so I’m hoping he passes this one! I’m going tiger mom on his little baby booty – no more failing tests kiddo!

My baby failed his first test 🙁 He had a “nonreactive strip” during his NST on Thursday, but luckily he passed the biophysical profile which is when they check for movements and fetal breathing on ultrasound. I guess he was just having a lazy baby day or wanted some extra camera time or something. It freaked me out but the nurses seemed happy once he passed the bpp so I tried not to let it bother me too much.

While I was at the hospital I had my labs done and then on Friday morning I had an appointment with Dr. OB that I thought went pretty well. Blood pressure was okay (not great) at 134/76. He went over my lab results and seemed happy that everything was stable and my serum creatinine was even a little lower than the week before. The only number that was a little high was my uric acid at 5.6 with 6.0 being considered an indicator of pre-e, but he assured me that it wasn’t the best predictor and he was happy that everything else looked fine. Heartbeat was a healthy 140bpm, he took swabs for GBS and I got the TDaP vaccine.

Dr. OB even said I could cancel my appointment for the next week and come back in two instead. So I was feeling pretty pleased with myself as I left his office and met up with my pregnant friend for lunch.

Except then Dr. MFM’s scheduler called me to say that he had gone over my labs and wanted me to come in next week after my NST to see his associate (because he was going to be out of the office) instead of waiting to see him the following week like we had originally discussed.

That had me a little bit worried but I tried to put it out of my mind.

Until during lunch his nurse called to say that Dr. MFM wanted me to do another 24 hour urine before I see his associate next week.

Urgh. Not sure what this is about it. Is it because of the uric acid? Is it because of the nonreactive NST? A combination of the two? Or is he just being really, really cautious?

I was going to write about more guilty feelings in relation to my mom and her desire to help and my desire for a little space but I think I need to take a break from all that.

Tomorrow I’ll be 34 weeks! From what I’ve read that’s the point where preemies have the same outcomes as full-term babies so even though I’d like to keep him cooking for another three weeks, getting here is a big, big relief.

It seems so surreal that my time as a pregnant lady are quickly winding down. It hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows, and these past few weeks have had their share of anxiety and discomfort but for the most part I’ve really enjoyed being pregnant. I love this time where Cheeks has been all mine and I don’t have to share him with anyone. I’m the only one who knows where he likes to put his little feet (jammed under my right rib), how often he gets hiccups, how if I sleep in a certain position it makes him squirm and punch until I move.

And, ever since I got the steroid shots, I’m almost positive I’ve been able to feel him “breathing.” I started noticing this strange sensation of a rhythmic pulsing that definitely wasn’t hiccups because it was much more gentle. It sort of felt like a dog softly panting. After a bit of googling I’m convinced that it’s his back rising up and down while he practices his breathing! Hopefully this means he’ll be just fine to make a slightly early appearance.

His movements now are noticeably different from earlier in the pregnancy. I no longer feel kicking or jabbing, but a lot of squirming – I think because he’s run out of room! I’m hoping this means that he’ll have no other choice but to stay firmly head down like he is right now. I’m pretty sure his head is off to the left a little bit and that he’s somewhat diagonal based on the fact that his hiccups make the lower left half of my belly shake and those little feet that reside under my right ribs (as confirmed by my last few ultrasounds). I can’t remember if I mentioned but he turned at some point between ultrasound at 29 weeks and the one I had at 31 weeks, he’s been head down ever since which they check for at my NSTs.

One of my coworkers felt my belly and proclaimed that I’m “all baby.” I didn’t know what she meant until these past couple weeks when I’ve been able to feel distinct body parts as he pushes them out. I still can’t really tell what they are but it’s pretty neat. I haven’t really gained much weight in the past few weeks, I seem stuck around 20-21lbs. My appetite is actually pretty good but I just can’t eat very much at once! I think maybe my body is preparing me to have to feed someone every 2-3hrs because that seems to be how often I have to eat. I’ll be famished, eat a small meal, feel completely stuffed and then be starving again a few hours later. I guess this means he hasn’t dropped yet.

I still haven’t had much heartburn *knock on wood* and I never even really had much in the way of round ligament pain as far as I can tell. My biggest complaint is still back aches, which in the grand scheme of things, ain’t so bad. Oh the contractions aren’t great either, but I figure they are preparing me for the real thing so maybe I’ll be thankful for them in the end.