We stopped at the Primm Valley outlets on the way out and Paul and I purchased our very first household item together for our upcoming, as of yet non-existent, new apartment: oven-mitts from William Sonoma, on sale 2 for $2! No more watching Paul precariously reach into the oven with some flimsy little hand-towel & tongs!

I also bought clothes. Which I should not have because I then proceeded to eat way too much in Vegas and I don't think I fit into anything anymore =( I tried to squeeze into my eggshell dress-I-adore from BR and the zipper just won't go that last inch >< (Of course it may also have something to do with it being a size 0P and I was just barely squeezing into it to begin with). Time for a post-Vegas diet methinks. Actually I have to be honest with you, it's not just Vegas. I have been pigging out way too much in general these last 3 weeks and it needs to stop. My doctors would not be pleased with the way I've been eating (gorging on sugars, salts and everything I'm supposed to be avoiding like the plague). Vegas did not help, though. Did not help at all in fact. And now I can't fit into my clothes anymore >< I feel like a little butterball. And my diet is off to a great start because I had McDonald's hotcakes and sausage for breakfast. MMmMm...but I did just order ice water as my beverage. That's something right ><

I've been at work for an hour and a half and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do with myself. I actually miss having a zillion and a half, time-consuming projects. The girl who was here before me seemed like she was really busy. What's different? Someone please tell me what I'm not doing so I can do it and not sit here thinking up things to do.

The hotcakes and sausage are not sitting right.

I had my first run in this week with a tenant who shall henceforth be known as Crazy Toilet Paper Lady. I kid you not, Crazy Toilet Paper Lady called three times in five minutes complaining that there was no toilet paper (I guess she was upset that the parking attendant is incapable of magically teleporting three stories up to refill tp). Then she yelled at our parking attendant for not bringing up enough toilet paper (only a quarter roll due to the fact that the after-hours janitorial staff forgot to refill the supply cabinet with tp). Then she called three more times in the next twenty minutes and sent my manager an email to make sure we knew just how unacceptable the situation was to her.

All I could think all afternoon was, "Jesus lady how much toilet paper do you need to wipe your butt??" I don't think I want to know the answer to that question.

Another strange occurence: Someone appears to be crumbling up Ruffles potato chips at night and feeding them to one of our tenant's very expensive fish. Tenant suspects cleaning crew but they thought we were nuts when we asked them if one of their people was feeding a fish potato chips. I can't say I blame them.

I'm so bored. I talked it over with Paul and my momma and we've all decided that even though I've just barely started this job, I should keep loking for work. One of the major problems I have with the company is that it's a pretty large company at this point but its still run with a small company mindset. It's basically impossible to get things done because everything has to be approved by HQ and HQ is dealing with so much crap that it takes them forever and 8 days to get around to even looking at your proposals. Meanwhile the tenants are pissed off because nothing's getting done and all you can do is say you're sorry but (fill in the blank) is currently going through the mysterious and all-important "approval process" that the tenant doesn't give a crap about. This is why I have so much free time nowadays. I do what I need to do from my end, then I send it in and wait. And wait. And wait. And wait...and I could go on and on but you get the picture. Don't get me wrong, this is still better than my lost job where I was stressed out by a psychotic boss and being paid less than a McDonald's worker (literally), but I'd like a job where I feel like I'm being challenged and growing professionally. Is that really so much to ask?

Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.
Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I.


I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours. I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry behind if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.


I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

So anyway, on Saturday Paul had to go to his Dumb Fraternity Boys Sit Around And Congratulate Each Other On Being Totally Awesome Night (aka Alumni Dinner @ McCormick & Schmick's). Of course, the dinner went long and by the time he called me at 11:30 p.m. I was in full on pout mode because even the cat had ditched me and spent the evening in the living room watching tv with my roommate. Then on the way home he started having major stomach cramps and by the time he was back in the apartment he was making funny faces and holding his stomach as he got out of his suit. I thought it was pretty amusing that despite his obvious need to poo ASAP he still took the time to make sure his pants were folded at the crease and hung up, he even took the time to take off his socks before dashing into the bathroom. Talk about OCD huh? My baby's a neat freak, even in the midst of bad case of diarrhea. If that had been me I would have thrown my suit on the ground despite the coat of cat hair that would have grown over it in three seconds and socks be damned, I would have been on that toilet within 2 seconds of entering the apartment.

I told him he was being punished for eating lobster without me so he probably thinks I was stabbing a voodoo doll of him in the tummy or something. But I swear it wasn't me! I woke up sometime in the middle of the night and vaguely remember seeing him sitting on the toilet and some funky noises coming out of him. When he saw that I had been awakened by the sound of his farts he quickly closed the bathroom door and I drifted back off wondering if the whole thing had been a dream.

Okay, so that probably wasn't very entertaining but at least now you know what my Saturday night was like. That's something right ><

We've got a room in Vegas booked for Memorial Day weekend. I haven't been there since I was like 10 and I know people my age are supposed to love going to Vegas but I feel rather blah about the whole thing. I've missed church three weeks in a row and I don't particularly feel like being in Sin City on the fourth straight weekend I miss my weekly dose of Pastor David's sermon. Beyond that, I've become an old lady who enjoys going to bed at a decent hour and has the tendency to freak out in large, crowded crowds of strangers. What can I say, I'm boring and claustrophobic. I don't like to gamble, I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, I'm not allowed to be in the sun for any length of time (because of the medications I'm on) and basically, to sum up, I'm a big wet blanket. I'm a cranky 80 year old woman at the ripe old age of 22. Bah humbug. I'm the scrooge of Memorial Day Weekend =)

This is what happens when: all I've eaten today is a croissant, a fruit cup and (just now) a large handful of sour coke (and cherry coke) bottles. I know in my head I shouldn't really be too upset with him, after all he's never gone out for drinks with his coworkers before (probably due to the fact that he's always had to rush home to cook me dinner before I get cranky) and it was his birthday yesterday (which may be why his coworkers wanted to go out for drinks?)...but I'm hungry darnit! And on top of it his cell phone is now dead so I can't even call him and say "Look if you don't get home I'm eating without you ass!"

First, we had to get there an hour early to stand in some ridiculous line. Then once inside the theater we had to deal with obnoxious little kids hooting, hollering and just being generally obnoxious (by "little kids" I'm actually referring to high schoolers and such, since it was a 9:45 p.m. showing). Then, of course, the geniuses who run the theater decide it's a great idea to turn off the ventilation/air-conditioning in the (jam-packed) theater so for the entire movie we are all sitting there sweating like pigs in the uncomfortable, straight-backed chairs. The no a/c thing probably made that my worst movie-going experience ever. I should have got up and complained, but I was too lazy to climb over all the people between me and the aisle. I'll take a DVD in my room, in my pj's with snacks that don't cost an arm and a leg any day. The only positive thing about going to that god awful theater was the fact that it was in a mall and I bought 4 and a half pounds of those sour coke bottles. Yes, four and a half pounds.

So, what did I think of the movie itself you might be wondering. Honestly, not much. I never saw the original Star Wars movies and after watching Episode I a few years ago I didn't really get what all the hoopla was for. Episode III was better than Episode I, I guess. The dialogue was cheesy, the acting was subpar and I don't know...in my humble opinion it was just too simple? Paul explained to me that you already know from the original movies that Darth Vader went to the dark side because he loses those he loves...but I mean...it was like Annakin just had a massive temper tantrum (don't even get me started on wondering what Natalie Portman's character was doing with someone with such obvious attachment, mood and overall maturity issues) that threw the universe into chaos. Why didn't someone slap that kid and tell him to stop being such a huge baby. Why didn't Natalie Portman's character do it?

Anyway, enough of that, I guess I just don't "get" Star Wars. Maybe someday I will watch the originals (I've actually always wanted to but for some reason I have not gotten ahold of them) and I'll love it the way everyone else does. But I was very unimpressed by Episode III (and Episode I, never even saw Episode II I was so unimpressed). Actually, wait, the special effects were pretty cool, but they certainly weren't worth sitting in that sweltering theater for two and a half hours.

For those of you who have seen the movie (and for those of you who haven't don't worry, I'm not ruining anything) did you guys notice the part where Obi and Annakin are arguing and Obi goes "But he's evil!" and Annakin says something like "Well, from my perspective, the Jedi Council is evil!" I was like wow Annakin sounds like a liberal! You know...moral relativism and all that hogwash, who's really evil, us or the terrorists crap. Just thought I'd point that out since a lot of people have been saying Episode III bashes Republicans or something along those lines? I guess there could have been some of that but considering this story was written long before Dubya was in office I'll give George Lucas the benefit of the doubt.

Today has been a very slow Friday for me so I've been reading up on the Pepsi controversy. I don't have much to add really but I'd like to talk about it anyway because if I'm going to bother boycotting a company/product I'd like it to mean something and in order for it to mean something other people have to see the need to boycott the company/product as well, which they can't if they don't know what the story is to begin with. So if you don't know whatsup with Pepsi, please check out the link. Basically Pepsi's CFO gave a pretty poorly thought out graduation speech at Columbia this past weekend in which she likened the US to the world's middle finger and claims that we are in fact giving the world the middle finger. Pretty ironic I'd say considering she was chiding us Americans for not being sensitive enough in our cross-culture communications. And now, because I am not feeling very articulate today (despite this very long post) here is a letter to Pepsi from an Eric Egland that is posted in one of the powerline posts.

I found Ms. Nooyi's graduation comments offensive, not to mention off-base, because the central theme of her speech was that America is, in essence, "flipping off the world."

I am in Iraq, and served previously in Afghanistan. Many Americans have given their lives to liberate those nations from tyranny. In that light, I offer a few examples of "fingers" in those places that might present Ms. Nooyi a more substantive representation of American presence abroad than a trivial story of a rude traveler.

For example, she could ride on a combat patrol here and use her fingers to return the waves that I see on every mission from some of the over eight million Iraqis whose fingers were stained with purple ink following voting in the first democratic elections after decades of tyranny. She might notice her fingers moistened by sweat as she unconsciously gripped her armrest, noticing a tinge of fear from attack by a roadside bomb--the same fear felt by myself and every other American on Iraq’s roads.

In Afghanistan, many children and parents stick their thumbs straight up when Americans pass, demonstrating gratefulness for no longer living under the Taliban. I drove by Kabul University a while back and saw two young girls using their fingers to carry the books that represent the freedom to pursue education now enjoyed by Afghan women.

Now, a question that begs an answer: Does Ms. Nooyi consider that freedom an example of America "giving the world the finger," or "giving the world a hand?"

In the meantime, I will stop consuming Pepsico products and encourage others to do the same. Please remember, it is this country, and the brave men and women who defend it, that provided the free enterprise system that allowed your company to become a global corporate power. I would hope that Pepsi senior executives would show more respect for this great country. Perhaps the troops who enjoy your products would hope so as well.

I respectfully ask for a serious response, not the "promised land" public relations pabulum response offered on behalf of Ms. Nooyi. Please mail it to my address here in Baghdad.

I hope he gets a serious response. He certainly deserves one.

It better not rain.

I think my sister got me sick when we all had dinner with my uncle on Thursday. That's what the whole headache thing yesterday was about. I ended up falling back asleep and missing Church for the second week in a row >< Paul was secretly happy because he got to play DOTA (Defense of the Ancients for you non-warcraft3 players out there) the whole time I was passed out.

I've had Zankou so many times since I found out it opened that I feel as though the cashiers must recognize me. I had it for lunch yesterday and I do believe I will be having it again for lunch again today. Paul dosen't believe I can have the tarna chicken wrap on a daily basis, but I can and I intend to prove it =)

Paul's birthday is in four days, he's turning 24 so he will soon be two years older than me! Hah! Old man.

It's hot and I have a sinus headache or something. And my teeth hurt too. Probably because I grind the heck out of them at night. Should really wear my mouth guard...

I had to go to our other buildings a couple times last week and on Thursday the parking attendant didn't recognize me without my glasses on and tried to charge me for parking when I went to go show a tenant some carpet samples. Now I have no trouble recognizing myself with or without glasses. In my head, anyway, I look roughly the same when I'm wearing glasses as when I'm not (except, of course, for the dark rimmed glass ovals over my eyes). But I must be like Superman/Clark Kent because I swear on the days I wear my contacts I have to introduce myself to people I see all the time. They're just glasses!

*Note: I just went through all my pictures looking for two taken on the same day (one in glasses and one not) and I don't think such a thing exists. So I'll have to do that some time and see what other people think.

I skipped church this Sunday. Bad Joyce >< But I downloaded a bunch of worship songs which I've been singing along with on my iRiver in the car and at work.

We bought Taz a brush (finally) and man does the fat little thing love to be brushed. We've removed layers and layers of fur already and yet she still sheds like crazy.

I had this dream on Friday night that one of the tenants in one of the buildings I help manage wrote us a letter complaining there weren't enough trees around and they would really like some trees...which would have been an easy enough problem to take care of (find a vendor, plant some trees) except their building (in my dream) was in the middle of a desert. I just remember thinking "What do these people, want me to do? Plant trees in the desert?" But tenants really do have some strange requests.

The news seems really slow lately and so I haven't been keeping up. I have, however, been watching the NBA playoffs and am very upset about the Rockets crushing loss over the weekend. Now I have no preference on who wins, except maybe the Heat just so Shaq can laugh in Kobe and Dr. Buss's faces. Mostly in Kobe's face though. Kobe sucks. I would leave Taz's poop in his shoes.

Paul has been getting called for interviews! Everyone wants my honey =)

My iRiver came! I have finally found a way to outsmart my car speakers (which periodically poop out on me).

I've been getting a little bit stressed out over my living situation. I hate all this uncertainty regarding where I'm going to be working, where Paul is going to be working, if Paul is going to be working (although I'm pretty sure this isn't something to worry about). It sucks because I can't even really start worrying about finding a place until this other..BAH! Why is there always such a succession of things to worry about.

I need to put up bible verses in this office.

Let go and let God

So far it's been a quiet day here. I'm actually doing work again! It feels nice after a week of sitting around "observing."

I've been feeling very off for about a week or so. I don't think I like it. It's like I'm losing my grip on sanity (again). I thought I'd finally outgrown this.

Power of Your Love

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace that I've found in You
Lord I've come to know the weaknesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
Knowledge of Your love as You live in me
Lord renew my mind as Your will unfolds in my life
Living every day
By the power of Your love