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Thursday, September 29, 2005

they kinda look like skid marks

Maybe it's just the heat getting to me (after a relatively mild summer for those of us who are 6 or 7 miles away from the beautiful Pacific). But I feel like crap again. And GOOD LORD is it hot (not East Coast hot by any means, of course, but why else do you live in West LA if not for the year-round-gorgeous-wether?).

I almost cried when Paul started eating chips with his dinner because I was afraid he was going to get his gums infected. Am I getting my period? No, I am not. There is just something very wrong with me.

This has just seriously been one of those weeks. There's no other way to say it. It started off with one of my best contractors being let go a full-month before her contract was supposed to end (and after me totally convincing her this could go perm - which is also what her manager told her except he's on vacation this week so what the hell is going on >< !!) and leaving us no warning at all that we needed to find her a new position. Thus, she has been jobless this week and, as she reminded me this afternoon when I called her to tell her we still had no explanation for her, it is the first of the month. In other words, a bad time to be broke.

So that was how my week started. And it just kind of spiraled downhill from there. My blanket is bloody. So is Paul's pillow. And our sheets. Not like murder-scene bloody but still disturbing. Especially after reading all those "So you're getting your wisdom teeth pulled..." websites and learning that, just as I suspected, one is not supposed to be spitting copious amounts of thick, bloody liquid from one's mouth, several hours after getting one's wisdom teeth pulled.

I don't like his dentist. He is supposed to go back tomorrow to get the other two pulled. I am fighting this very hard because there is actually no reason for him to get those two pulled. Even the dentist herself admitted that those last two wisdom teeth are bothering no one. So what is the point of subjecting himself to another miserable day of spitting up blood (which makes me gag) and staining our sheets?

It's almost nine o'clock and Paul is already asleep and my eyes are getting heavy. I feel like I'm 5 again.

wingless was still breathing at 8:48 PM - 0 comments

kiss me, kill me

Today was mildly better. I was actually very productive today which is always nice. There are things I'm Very Confused about in terms of work though. Like how can you be as aggressive as they seem to want us to be but still be all about teamwork and stuff? I mean there are only so many great candidates out there and we're all fighting for them in a sense right? So yeah, and I'm not very aggressive when it comes to most things (other than politics) and I feel bad when I try to be and I get other people a bit irked. What a pickle.

But yeah, other than that Confusion, today was productive. Found several chemist-type people and others of the sort.

I downloaded a bible-verse clad wallpaper. Somehow I feel like this helped. To be able to look at that bible-verse and tell myself this world is just this world and God is so much more than that. Because seriously? This world is all about money and business it seems. The "work world" anyway. Sure there are great friendships and truly wonderful people but there's always the bottom line looming in the background. I can't say this doesn't disturb me. It must be the liberal in me. But all the positions that would allow me to forget about money and truly just help people would probably be the death of me. I don't think I could handle being a social worker or something like that. I have the utmost respect for people who can, but I honestly think it would kill me. It kills me now when I can't help people out. I can't imagine how much worse it must be for social workers.

wingless was still breathing at 6:27 PM - 0 comments

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

i'm having one of those crap days weeks

I think I'm starting to get depressed again and I don't really have a good reason. I just have that feeling again like there's this big hole inside me and nothing can console me. I know all the Christians out there are screaming that it's God I'm missing and I know that my relationship with Him could be better but honestly I'm not sure that that's it. Unless, my relationship with God is so incredibly messed up that it's that bad and I have no clue at all. I try, at least I think I try, to keep God in mind, to keep Him with me all day at work and at home. Why is it so hard? Is it just this hard for me?

I don't know, I just get so sick of being in a worldly environment. I know that there probably is no totally Christian-friendly workplace out there (unless I work for a church, but I know enough about church politics to know that even this is not always the case) but...Sigh...I guess I shouldn't have that mentality. I should try to be a light under a bushel right? I know, I know. But it's so hard sometimes. And I am so very imperfect and easily influenced.

And I'm tired this week. And I feel like a failure. And my hip is starting to hurt. And I really just want to crawl up into a ball under my blankets and cry for awhile.

Also, Paul is feeling miserable because he just got a couple wisdom teeth yanked and he keeps spitting up blood and the left side of his face is swollen.

One thing I did accomplish today: Finally got my insurance company to acknowledge the fact that I have hit my out-of-pocket maximum for the year. Insurance companies suck. But they are awesome too. Because now I don't have to worry about medical bills for the rest of the year.

wingless was still breathing at 7:08 PM - 0 comments

Monday, September 26, 2005

longing for the days of monday morning hangovers, bunk beds and all-night-conversations in the hallway

So, apparently, the reason my UTI was not feeling like a UTI is because it wasn't. Got a message from my doc this evening as I was driving home that nothing flourished in my urine and blood cultures and so, most likely, it was either just some kind of virus or a flare.

I'm just going to make myself feel better and tell myself it as a virus. Because if it was a virus or other-bacterial-infection then it has (hopefully) been eviscerated by the antibiotics/passage of time by now and I can move on with my life and not get fired for never being in the office or doing any work. If it is a flare (and it's NOT, okay? humor me) then well, you know how that goes.

Most likely it was some kind of virus because I am feeling better now. And I told my manager about my condition today and she was pretty nice about it, I still have to tell my regional manager but it felt good at least getting it off my chest to one person at work. Also, she said they had been a bit concerned about my commitment to this position so I think letting her know I actually was sick and why it took me so long to get over it probably was a good move.

Other than that, I had a nice weekend. Tiring but very nice. My cousin Karen was in from Boston for the weekend and my parents and two aunties were all down here helping my cousin and little sister move into their new homes for the school year. I can't believe they are second and third years now. That is just ridiculous. My baby sister will be graduating. From college. In TWO years. Gah. I feel old. I felt really old all weekend being around UCLA again. I felt like that old person that is constantly reminiscing of the good old days. Oh how I long for the first couple years of college. It's sad that it's something you can really only experience once and even if you go back to school, it'll never be like that again. And it's something you'll always want.

Anyway. Today was a very long day at work. And very busy. And I am very, very tired. I have a LOT to do tomorrow ><

wingless was still breathing at 6:40 PM - 0 comments

Friday, September 23, 2005


I'm really worried about Rick Leventhal. I've been watching the hurricane coverage and it looks like it's just starting to hit hard...Rick Leventhal is on a roof and he looks like he will be blown away. Also, his ears are totally exposed to the wind and rain and he looks completely soaked. He is going to be so sick after this, if he doesn't get blown off the roof first.

Seriously Rick, we don't need YOU to physically be outside in the hurricane. On a roof. Just peek the camera out. Thanks. I've grown quite used to you and I don't want to see you go flying off the roof on live television.

Now I can't sleep. Why are people out in that weather? Go inside people! It's windy! There's a hurricane! A roof is not a good place to be in that situation. Just thought I would point that out to you.

As you can see this is really bothering me. Paul and I were lying in bed and I kept poking him and saying "WHY IS HE OUTSIDE? HE'S GOING TO GET SICK! HONEY! WHY IS RICK LEVENTHAL STILL OUTSIDE? HE'S GOING TO BLOW AWAY!"

What does Paul have to say about all this? Nothing. He fell asleep. Which is why I came to blog about it. Because seriously, I WANT RICK LEVENTHAL TO GO INSIDE. And why did those other random guys go up on the roof to "see what it was like?" Does this make sense to anyone? Go inside people! INSIDE!

wingless was still breathing at 11:15 PM - 0 comments

just wanted to say

I am so sorry for everyone who is being displaced by these hurricanes. It sucks. And no one should have to go through it.

I need to pry myself away from this hurricane coverage. Work is a nice way of keeping yourself so busy you can't pay attention to this kind of stuff =\

wingless was still breathing at 4:00 PM - 0 comments

if you don't want to hear about my uti - don't read this post

The funny thing about this UTI is that I'm not having the usual, um, bathroom-related issues that normally come along with having one. I had one four years ago and I distinctly remember the constant need to urinate, the never being able to when I was actually sitting on the toilet and, of course, the sitting on the toilet for unusual amounts of time trying my damndest to squeeze out ONE LITTLE DROP.

This time? There is none of that. I don't constantly feel like I have to go - I do have some stomach pains but that's about it. Apparently that could be a sign the infection is attacking my kidneys. Oh my poor kidneys, getting attacked left and right. I really need to help them out somehow. Come on antibiotics!

What is with all the flooding? First the tsunami, then Katrina, now Rita...it's like God is flooding the world again...

I took a good look at the geographical map of New Orleans today and discovered that, yes, indeed, it is a bowl! Surrounded by water. (I know, I'm slow, but I just took everyone else at their word when they said it was bowl shaped). And from what I hear, it's flooding again today even before Rita has hit.

I don't think the question is "Should we rebuild New Orleans?" its "Who still wants to live in New Orleans which has now flooded twice in less than a month?" I mean, I don't know about anyone else, but me? If I had just barely escaped a city that was under 12 feet of water? And then it flooded again, just as it was starting to dry off? I wouldn't go back. What would there be to go back to anyway? And what should the people of New Orleans do in the meantime? During the years and years it's going to take to first rebuild the levees up to the necessary standard (and even then, nature can ALWAYS find a way if she really wants to, especially when we're talking about a city that is literally bowl-shaped) and then rebuild the homes and the business? Kids are enrolling in schools and people will settle down, most likely, wherever they currently are. Because it just makes sense.

Finally, before I go lie down on the couch because my stomach is really starting to hurt (maybe from the antibiotics? I hope?), thanks Lisa and Stu for responding...everyone I've asked seems to agree with you so that is probably what I will do on Monday...

wingless was still breathing at 3:27 PM - 0 comments

advice please?

I don't know how many people actually read this thing anymore but for anyone who is out there, I'm asking for some advice: If you had lupus that was somewhat under control and you were at a new job, would you let your employer know about your situation? Keep in mind, doctor's appointments are pretty much AT LEAST a monthly event for people living with this condition.

I am trying to decide whether or not I have finally come to a point where I need to tell my manager about my condition so she will understand why I have so many doctor's appointments even though I am still in my "probation period" (obviously a time during which normal people would try with every fiber of their being not to miss work for any reason they could avoid). So far I have been sick pretty much all of this week, other than Monday, going in for a couple hours Tuesday morning, half day yesterday and going in for 30 minutes this morning...I've had two doctor's appointments, not including the one yesterday, and I have one coming up next week and then back onto the monthly schedule...

BUT, I haven't had a serious flare since I started on the treatment and all in all I've been doing quite well...It's just I need to constantly be checked up on by my doctors and I am slightly more susceptible to getting sick because of the medication I'm on. Is this what I should tell them? I don't know. My mom is worried about discrimination, but other people are telling me if I actually tell them then that would protect me a little bit more...I don't know.

Blah. I hate having this monkey on my back.

wingless was still breathing at 9:04 AM - 0 comments


Well according to the doc I may have a UTI which is deciding whether or not it wants to turn into a kidney infection. Go me! They took like two jugs of blood and a urine sample and are performing some culture thing to see what kind of nifty bacteria grows out of it.

Since the doc went ahead and prescribed me some antibiotics, which I started last night, I figured I was good to go into work this morning. However, I was immediately told to leave upon my arrival. I guess a sick recruiter is not a very good recruiter since we're supposed to sound all chipper and bubbly and excited to FIND YOU A JOB! I guess I look and sound more like a dying animal...looking for a place to die. Or take a long nap anyway.

It wouldn't be so bad if my internet connection to my work laptop didn't crap out on me every 3 minutes at home. Then at least I could go through resumes and tag people to call on Monday. Instead I am blogging (fun, but totally useless) and watching Hurricane Rita coverage. At least I won't be so in the dark in regards to THIS hurricane. It reminds me of when I was still in college and spent my days watching round the clock war coverage.

Right as my alarm went off this morning the cat jumped into bed with me, cuddled up against my side and started purring like crazy. It was like she was telling me, "Don't bother going to work, just stay here rest and be lazy like me!" But at least when I try to go in and get sent home I know I made an effort to suck it up and work through it. Also, I don't want to get fired for seeming like a lazy bum trying to get out of work and making up illnesses and such. This way they get to see, with their very own eyes, "sick Joyce" in all her glory.

I am so behind at work. Sooo very behind >< At least it's Friday. And my mommy and daddy are coming down this weekend! Yay for parental sympathy and attention! Even though they are really supposed to be here to help my sister move into her new apartment...

wingless was still breathing at 8:36 AM - 3 comments

Thursday, September 22, 2005

infect me baby

In case any of you were wondering, no I am still not in great health. I did make it into work this morning only to be banished by my coworker who apparently didn't like the sight of me turning green every few minutes. I actually wanted to make it through the day because I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon anyway but who am I to say no to being sent home I guess.

Right now I'm trying to figure out what I can eat but even the thought of a handful of cheerios is making me feel a bit queasy. Guess my old standby, chili cheese fries, are out this time.

I fear I have some kind of ear infection on top of everything else. Or maybe it started off as an ear infection, went untreated, and then morphed into whatever monster it is now. Either way. I'm queasy and my eardrums are hurting.

Now taking lunch suggestions...

wingless was still breathing at 12:08 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

i believe in miracles

Other than a glorious nap today was entirely wasted. I did not work from home like I thought I would. I did not even call in to check my voicemails. I was totally useless today.

The worst part was Paul wasn't even home for me to snuggle with. I mean, really, what is the point of being home sick if there's no one around to shower you with sympathy and make you soup? None. Absolutely no point at all.

But at least I do feel a bit better. Fuzzy, from the nap, but better. I knew something was not right since I woke up this morning. I woke up and went "Ugh. Can I go back to sleep?" But instead of listening to my body, I dragged my butt out of bed, brushed hair, teeth, got dressed, grabbed yogurt and headed out the door. In my suit. In the rain.

Needless to say my suit got spotty. Then I went to work and threw up and came home. Yay me. Please, dear God, let me be in tip-top health by tomorrow.

wingless was still breathing at 5:46 PM - 0 comments

my tongue still burns

Maybe it's just because I'm sick or something but I feel I am in a very bad place mentally right now. Damn the rain. Damn my sensitive inner ear and fragile emotional state.

Paul says I give up too easily and maybe I do. On days like today I wish I could wish myself into oblivion. Do other people feel this way? Like they want to stop existing?

Even though no one likes work, I'm glad I don't stay home every day anymore. It leaves me too much time to think. To worry. Wonder. Hate myself. Think of reasons to hate myself. Think of reasons the world is a pointless, pathetic mess. Sometimes I wish I could just close myself off. I hate seeing people who are suffering, no matter what the reason. But I don't really know what to do about it. Sometimes I wish I were just a liberal because then at least I could lie to myself and tell myself that giving these people handouts with no accountability would actually be helping them....But alas, I am not that naive.

I don't think most liberals understand what it means to be a conservative. On the other hand I think the vast majority of conservatives know exactly what liberals are thinking and why. Why do I believe this? Because I honestly believe that most conservatives have, at one point in their lives or another, been liberals. We've thought liberal thoughts and felt liberal feelings. I remember very clearly a time in my life where I was angry at "America" for the senseless slaughter of Native Americans. Not that that sums up what it means to be liberal, but that's just an example of how different my thinking used to be and how much it has changed.

On the flip-side most liberals seem to be disgusted at the idea that they could ever be or ever have been conservative. They are PROUD not to understand conservative thought and ideology. These last two paragraphs were a total tangent and I don't know what my point is here. I guess I was just reflecting on how I totally get why liberals think what they do but they never get us. Emotions are easy for people to understand, because our first reaction is always emotion. It takes something more to carefully think things through I suppose.

Okay enough babbling for now. I'm supposed to be resting or something.

wingless was still breathing at 10:59 AM - 0 comments

the taste of bile early in the morning

I puked. At work. The first wave was a little pink-ish from the two bites of red raspberry yogurt I managed to choke down. The next wave was a yellow-ish-orange-ish color from what I imagine must be the dissolved Sudafed Cough & Cold I almost puked up while trying to swallow.

My manager happened to enter the restroom just as I finished examining the contents of my stomach. I opened my stall door as she came out of hers and she was like "WHOA." I looked in the mirror and saw that I was totally flushed and my face was sweaty and my eyes were watering.

So now here I am at home. I should probably go brush my teeth or something. I feel like crap, someone bring me chicken soup =(

wingless was still breathing at 10:15 AM - 0 comments

Monday, September 19, 2005

I swear I had something to say

But I really can't remember what anymore.
wingless was still breathing at 7:41 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, September 18, 2005


I finally went by my old apartment yesterday to pick up a check from one of my old roommates and he also gave me....my birthday present from a Mr. AC in Maryland! THANK YOU! Sorry I'm thanking you like 2 months later...I am not a totally ungrateful you-know-what. I'm just slow! Anyway, thanks again Mr. Extreme aka I know your real name now! =)
wingless was still breathing at 10:44 AM - 0 comments

Thursday, September 15, 2005

beverages (and more)

Paul just called from Bev'n'Mo in the valley and the first words out of his mouth were, "You never take me here!"

Apparently he was very upset that I never thought to bring him to the wonder that is Beverages and More. It was as though he were at IKEA for the first time in his life. He couldn't stop marveling at how big it was and how many different brands of beer and wine and SODA! (He can't even drink soda right now because of the rotting tooth).

Anyway, yay it's Thursday. I told him he should bring back a bottle of wine so we can celebrate that tomorrow is finally Friday. Although the week flew by for me as usual thanks to the I Have Too Much To Do syndrome I call my job. But I can't complain 'cause I like it that way. (Except I complain all the time anyway becuase that's just how I am gosh darnit).

All I've eaten today is a thing of yogurt. I'm dizzy ><

wingless was still breathing at 6:09 PM - 0 comments

Wednesday, September 14, 2005


So? So far, this week? Not so great.

And of course, I'm talkin' about work because that is all I ever talk about anymore because recruiting consumes your life and the only thing you can think about after awhile is what jobs need to be filled, and where the hell are you going to find a candidate with that experience who's willing to take that pay, and dang that guy who TOTALLY flaked on you on the day he was supposed to interview with the client...that bastard.

Yeah, so that's some un-fun stuff that's been going on this week. Also: people who are so nice and I almost want to be like "Here! Have MY job. Because you are so nice and it makes me sad that I can't help you with anything right now," but instead all I can say is, "Well, I'll definitely keep an eye out for you." I mean it though. I really do try to keep them all in mind. But it is hard sometimes because there are so very many of them.

Blah. I should really try to be more positive and focus on the fact that at least I DO get to make a career out of helping people find jobs! That they want! And usually we get them the pay they're looking for! I'm using exclamation marks to try and make myself feel cheered up!

Supposed to have gotten my period on Monday or Tuesday and look here it is almost THURSDAY and still no painful cramps or bloating or anything indicating my period is on the way. I'm more annoyed than worried because I have a feeling the reason it's late is my body was confused by the two different brands of birth control pills I used this month. Long story. It requires going back several years. So I won't go into it.

Okay enough babbling for today. I need to clean the dang apartment. Cat. Litter. Everywhere ><

wingless was still breathing at 5:47 PM - 0 comments

Saturday, September 10, 2005

i totally rock

I fixed my permalinks! Finally! After all this time! And as you can see, I will be taking full advantage of my new link-y ability!
wingless was still breathing at 4:28 PM - 0 comments

for those of you who have never had the pleasure...

Like most people who work, my morning routine is generally, well, pretty routine.

I wake up without the alarm clock now on most mornings. Roll out of bed. Use the toilet. Brush teeth. Brush hair (sometimes). Get dressed (in the dark because Paul is usually still asleep or pretending to be). Grab my laptop and a bottle of water, sometimes a banana or a croissant if we've got them and head out the door for the elevator.

Ah, the drive to work. I'm sure no one enjoys the drive to work, but in Los Angeles, even a five-mile commute is more, shall we say "interesting" than most longer commutes in other cities.

7:20 a.m. Get into car. Close door in the nick of time, before car zipping down narrow street slams into it.

7:21 a.m. Pull onto main road. Notice rear window is covered with condensation and moisture thus making lane changes difficult. Damn Paul for always snagging the inside spot. Curse not having a house and two-car garage.

7:23 a.m. Condensation seems to be melting. Preparing to shift into the left turn lane but there is a big slow truck in the way.

7:24 a.m. Curse the truck as I watch the left turn light go from green to yellow as I squeeze by said truck and make it into the left turn lane just as the left turn light turns...red.

7:27 a.m. Finally make left turn.

7:28 a.m. Am behind Culver City bus which is stopping every block making me miss green lights. Then the bus pulls away before the light turns green and cuts me off so it is always ahead of me. Would switch to the other lane but there is a Very Old Person driving an oldsmobile that looks like it's about to sputter and die in the middle of the street.

7:29 a.m. Curse bus. Curse oldsmobile.

7:30 a.m. Speed up to a ridiculous speed at the intersection with a camera so can make it before light turns red.

7:31 a.m. Breathe sigh of relief no cops around and didn't see a flash at the intersection indicating a ticket in the mail, taunt bus which I am now ahead of, yay! And eat my dust oldsmobile!

7:32 a.m. Car zooms by me even though I am going 40 mph on a local road. Clearly someone who has just broken free of the oldsmobile/bus traffic jam and is now agitated and wanting to drive recklessly because he can.

7:34 a.m. Swerve to avoid gigantic pothole. Instead run over slightly less gigantic pothole.

7:35 a.m. Avoid one more pothole before pulling into parking lot. Take off dirty white flip flops and put on pumps. Check to make sure there is no toothpaste on my face since I got ready in the dark and have yet to look in a mirror all morning. Grab laptop. Run inside.

And there you have it. A morning commute in Los Angeles. Actually I have it good compared to most, but anything more than a 15-minute commute in Los Angeles would kill me. Or someone else. I mean, did you notice all the cursing that was going on?

wingless was still breathing at 3:46 PM - 0 comments

obladee oblada (life goes on)

Oy. I've been buried under like eight gillion pounds of work this week. I have 113 unread emails (mostly junk mehtinks). BUT I have four flow cytometer operaters who are considering the position and getting back to me on Monday! WOOT! Go me!

Paul went to the dentist for an emergency visit on Wednesday (aka his FIRST EVER trip to the dentist in his 24 years on the planet) and found out that one of his molars is so badly decayed that if he doesn't get a root canal, like, YESTERDAY then they will have to pull it out and he will be without one molar for the rest of his life. Also, he has many other cavities that need fillings and one of his wisdom teeth is gonna need pulling.

All said and done? He needs SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS worth of work >< Of course, we do suspect that the dentist we found is gouging us so we're trying to get a dentist from our church to take a look asap.

The other big problem with all of this is that he has no dental insurance. Until he starts his new job on Monday. But it's not like he can start his job and then take a day off to go get all the work done so we're in the market for a good dentist, in the Los Angeles area, who takes Blue Cross and works weekends. Anyone?

Meanwhile Paul is on lots of ibuprofen (luckily we have stores and stores of this from my arthritis pain days) and we went out and bought a bottle of caffeine free diet coke which is supposedly a "home remedy" for tooth pain. He will probably be trying that out at some point today.

Also this week, I found out that my cousin is engaged and am very jealous. Here I am living in sin with my bf and still no engagement ring. Sigh. Although, I know with everything that's going on (like the $6k his tooth is going to cost) a ring will have to wait.

Yesterday I had an appointment with my rheumatologist (who is awesome) and he was running late as usual but it was totally fine because there was this sweet old Filipino couple waiting with me in the lobby. The woman was soo talkative and clearly curious as to why I was there since most of his patients are older (like geriatric). Anyway I talked to her about my condition and she talked to me about a ton of stuff like her house and her garden and how she was a freelance jewelry designer for Neiman and Bloomies. I gave her my card and she said she'd call me and I could go over to her place and she'd teach me to make my own jewelry. I am very excited about this even though I've never really made friends and "hung out" with someone three times my age. But we did have a lot to talk about so if she does call I am definitely down to chill with her. Also, it sounds like she has a rockin' house in a great location. Maybe she will let me get married in her backyard. She said BRAVO paid her like two thousand bucks to use her backyard in one of their films.

So that's what's been going on with me. I am all politick-ed out for now. Politics really suck a lot of you. Especially when you're a red girl in a blue city/state.

wingless was still breathing at 8:12 AM - 0 comments

Monday, September 05, 2005

let's roll

Okay, okay, so at first I was all like, "C'mon Republicans let's rise above the fray and be bigger people and just HELP instead of responding to all the whining and complaining from those useless smelly hippies."

Now? After a couple days of actually watching all the coverage and reading all the bloggers and the "news" pieces ("news" meaning the drivel spewn forth by blatantly biased "journalists"/liberals)?

I'm ready to throw down.

Seriously. I'm so sick of the blame Bush crowd continuously ignoring the fact that in times of emergency the LOCAL governments undoubtedly need to step up and take care of their people. When did it become so that the ONLY elected official required to take any sort of action during a time of crisis is the President? Are mayors and governors and other elected state and local officials just there for decoration? Did we hold elections for those positions just because we here in America love voting so much that we thought we'd put totally useless, incompetent people into office who have no ability to help us get through disasters?

Someone might want to clue Jeb in, down there in Florida, HE'S not supposed to do a thing next time a hurricane hits. Just wait and whine and screech and howl while your citizens drown and loot and murder and rape each other. ONLY THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT HAS ANY RESPONSIBILITY TOWARDS AMERICAN CITIZENS.

[sarcasm]I mean, obviously, the federal government should have emergency buses ready to go in every single jurisdiction in the United States, because you know that's what the federal government is totally there for. To hold the hand of every incompetent f*cktard mayor who doesn't realize that CITIES HAVE BUSES. EVEN POOR CITIES LIKE NEW ORLEANS.[/sarcasm]

So? That one guy? Who was screaming about, "Where are the buses?" They are still safely in their puddle, I mean parking lot, where the loser mayor of New Orleans let them sit as his city turned into a giant septic tank. Sure, he could have used them to evacuate the sick and the elderly and otherwise immobile, but screaching about how President Bush sucks is just so much more fun and WAY more productive, you know.

Okay, I'm all raged out for now. It seriously sucks that in times like these, all those liberals have turned this into a giant political circus. We have more important things to focus on. Like all those people who need help and money and shelter and clothes and counseling and medical care. After 9-11 we came together and proved that we were the greatest nation on the planet. We came together not as liberals or conservatives but as Americans.

I mean sure, liberals started the whole Blame Bush movement regarding 9-11 (*cough*Farenheit 9-11*cough*) but it wasn't for quite awhile afterwards. This time, they didn't even wait for the hurricane to dissipate before they launched into how this is "all President Bush's fault" (said in the whiniest possible voice you can imagine).

So anyway, I'm over the whole "let's not respond to their childishness" thing because, this idiocy needs to be responded to. People who say such blatantly stupid, political, unhelpful, uneducated (*cough*KanyeWest*cough*) need to be put in their places. Those people are trying to take an American tragedy and turn it into a giant rift between the American people. Well, kids, it's not gonna happen. We are stronger than you and Americans will pull together despite all your pathetic attempts to politicize and blame.

One more thing: Please be angry and throw blame at those SUB-HUMAN, VILE, DISGUSTING, WORTHLESS PIECES OF DOG EXCREMENT who took advantage of the chaos by raping, looting and murdering. If I need to explain to you that it is not President Bush's fault that these criminals took it upon themselves to hurt those around them, as well as those trying to save them, then you are beyond all help and reason and should really go find yourself a CLUE.

Okay. I'm really done now. For now.

wingless was still breathing at 11:21 AM - 0 comments

Sunday, September 04, 2005

making fun of the french always makes me feel better

"what genius decided it was a good idea to build a major city in a soup bowl 10 feet below sea level as well as below a major river which floods? for all intents and purposes, New Orleans should have never existed. i blame France." - Mya


"It makes sense that the first American city to be destroyed would be the one with the strongest French influence." - Frank J.

Edit: Don't scream at me for being insensitive. I am praying for all those affected by the hurricanes and donating money through my company so it can be matched. But seriously, at some point we WILL have to start thinking about whether or not New Orleans really should be rebuilt considering its geographical downfalls. And also, we should never miss an opportunity to blame France. Kidding, kidding.

wingless was still breathing at 1:59 AM - 0 comments

Saturday, September 03, 2005

one more thing

For those who have politicized Katrina and just want to blame Bush. Read it. Seriously. Not everything that happens is Bush's fault as much as you'd like it to be.
wingless was still breathing at 9:15 PM - 0 comments

rest in peace

I guess we all knew it was coming, but still, what a shock. I wonder what this means for Roberts confirmation. Not sure what else to say about this right now, his family is in my prayers =\
wingless was still breathing at 9:11 PM - 0 comments

more on katrina

I didn't really want to talk about the political aspect of Katrina mostly because I have been almost totally oblivious to everything that happened this week. But lately I've been reading a lot of generally non-political blogs of people who are left-of-center and they seem to all have decided to take shots at the Bush Administration during this time of crisis.

I get that people are pissed off and horrified at the mayhem and destruction and general disaster in the wake of the hurricane. I feel it too, I do.

In fact, it really irritated me how Hannity was so defensive about bringing up all the aid that finally started to go into New Orleans yesterday, especially when it was obvious there was much more to be done. Yes, the liberal media is going to skew this as much as possible and try to blame Bush for Mother Nature attacking New Orleans, a city with a large black population. But what good will be doing defensive do? The truth, at the time (yesterday), was that people in the convention center were suffering and dying and generally not being helped. None of the reporters were insinuating it was the Bush Admin's fault, but Hannity's defensiveness gave the impression that they were.

I'm not saying we can't defend against obvious politicization of Katrina by the left, but other than that let's just do what Republicans do best...take care of the problem and take care of the needy and ignore the moonbats who like to complain but don't seem to realize complaining doesn't solve problems.

Over at RightWingNews John Hawkins says it best,

"Despite many complaints, I don't think the Feds have been slow to help at all. The reason that perception is there is because the government of New Orleans has been so tragically useless. Anywhere else, the city government would have been competent enough to hold things together at least for a little while, whereas the local government in New Orleans collapsed from the getgo."

Also, to put things into perspective for those complaining about the slowness and incompetence of the Bush Administration, and how dare they not reinforce the levy even though Clinton was in office for 8 years and never reinforced the levy, but hey hurricanes weren't a threat to New Orleans until Bush stepped into office so why would Clinton have needed to reinforce the levy anyway right...um...anyway, yeah...here's quote for those of you that need a little perspective:

"The New York Times has called the military response “a costly game of catch up.” Catching up compared to what, one wonders. National Guard units were mobilized immediately; 7,500 troops from four states were on the ground within 24 hours of Katrina — a commendable response given the disruptions to the transportation infrastructure. The DOD response is well ahead of the 1992 Hurricane Andrew timetable. Back then, the support request took nine days to crawl through the bureaucracy. The reaction this time was less than three days officially, and DOD had been pre-staging assets in anticipation of the aid request from the moment Katrina hit. DOD cannot act independently of course; the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) is the lead agency. Requests for assistance have to be routed from local officials through FEMA to U.S. Northern Command and then to the necessary components. In practice, this means state officials have to assess damage and determine relief requirements; FEMA has to come up with a plan for integrating the military into the overall effort; DOD has to begin to pack and move the appropriate materiel, and deploy sufficient forces. This has all largely been or is being accomplished. Seven thousand mostly Navy and other specialized assets are currently in the area directly supporting hurricane relief, and a much larger number of other forces are en route. The process has been functioning remarkably smoothly under the circumstances.

It is hard to understand what more should, or realistically could have been done up to this point. A disaster of this magnitude is certain to be politicized, but it seems early in the game to be assessing blame for a response effort that has only been underway a few days in a crisis that is still developing; particularly such a rapid response." - James Robbins

And that's all I have to say about that. I wish we could keep politics out of something as tragic as this. But hey, nothing surprises me anymore...not after the slaps in the face America recieved after the generosity shown towards tsunami victims. That's why I say we Republicans should just keep on keepin' on...keep on donating, keep on doing what you can to help and keep on praying for all those affected...

wingless was still breathing at 8:54 PM - 0 comments

the greater good

Yesterday I "interviewed" a research associate at a nearby university. The man was so incredibly fascinating I ended up talking to him for a good hour and a half and all my coworkers thought that I'd gotten sick and went up to the bathroom expecting to find me puking in a stall.

But I was not there. I was in one of the interview rooms learning all about the future of alzheimer's research and how stupid hippy liberal animal protest-y people are.

Not that I wasn't aware of this before, but now I am even more so.

You see, the guy is working on a cure for Parkinsons and his research requires the use of rodents. He makes rodent brain cultures and also uses the rats by inserting things into their brains to see if it starts to counteract the Parkinsons damage they've replicated in the rats. He told me how there are always these animal rights protestors causing a ruckus outside of their lab and that there are always (his emphasis, not mine) people trying to break into the lab to set the animals free.

Keep in mind these are animals who often have radioactive crap in their brains, my interviewee pointed out that if you set a bunch of radioactive rats free, you will soon have lots and lots of radioactive mice breeding and running amok in Los Angeles AND GOD KNOWS WHAT KIND OF CREEPY MUTANT RODENT THINGS COULD BE RUNNING AROUND IN A FEW YEARS.

Another thing he pointed out is that the animals are totally domesticated. Sure, setting them free might seem like the warm and fuzzy thing to do but in reality they are just killing those rats.

Now I know all the PETA fanatics are going to start screaming about how that's not the point, the point is that it's wrong to use animals like that, blah blah blah.

So I guess let's just screw AIDS research then...and all those cancer patients? Well they'll just have to die slowly, knowing no one is trying to find a cure for them or future cancer victims. After all, the animals!

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a HUGE animal lover. No, I do not love rats but I certainly wouldn't condone the torture of ANY defenseless animal (except insects, they don't count as animals because they are REALLY disgusting with all their creepy little legs). My interviewee told me about how people who do research with animals have to be animal lovers and have to be good with the animals. Why? Well, let's consider for a moment that these people are doing research on the brain, if the animals are feeling stressed out and agitated then the research would be skewed right? They have every incentive to keep the animals calm and happy and he talked to me about how they actually spend a lot of time petting the rats. PETTING THE RATS! Like they're bunny rabbits or something.

Anywho, it just made me want to launch into a tirade about how stupid hippies are but I guess I'm not supposed to talk about things like that while I've got my "work" hat on so I just kept saying "I can't believe people are so stupid."

Seriously? If you had to choose between your grandmother and a rat, which one would it be?

wingless was still breathing at 8:11 PM - 0 comments

Friday, September 02, 2005

they are all in my prayers

This is how busy I've been: I am just RIGHT NOW figuring out how bad Katrina + aftermath is.

Yeah I'd heard bits and pieces. Noticed a lot of people commenting on their blogs. But I've been feeling pretty sick this week and so incredibly busy with work that I haven't touched a newspaper, watched the news, or so much as clicked onto cnn.com.

I came home early today because of the long weekend and I'm watching FoxNews and I'm...flabbergasted. I know this is selfish but I'm almost glad I was so oblivious to the extent of this because it was hard enough to keep myself together this week and I tend to get all emotional and stuff when I am paying attention to things like 9-11, the tsunami and these crazy floods and people dying and seriously...what's with the chaos?

I have never seen every single FoxNews correspondent angry before. At the same time. In fact the only one prone to emotional outbursts is Geraldo and he has gone COMPLETELY nuts. The other correspondents are just obviously pissed off at how they're watching people die right in front of their eyes. Even the war correspondents who were pretty calm and collected during their Iraq war coverage are getting angry on camera. I'm thinking it's because you kind of go to war expecting to see people die. You don't expect to watch people die before your eyes, be raped and murdered and just slowly die in general right before your eyes in America.

Sigh. My company is doing a disaster donation matching thing so I am definitely planning on taking advantage of that. My company totally rocks, they sent out an email today saying they want our donations to make a huge impact.

wingless was still breathing at 5:42 PM - 0 comments

Thursday, September 01, 2005

sleep is good

I'm so buried at work. I have no time! Ack! Stress ><

Paul keeps bugging me to try and leave early tomorrow but I have so much to do I wouldn't even feel right leaving on time if it's not all wrapped up. Funny I've never actually wanted to work all the time. I guess it's because I don't want any dawdling on my part to make someone lose a chance at a job.

I love my job but I'm so tired.

wingless was still breathing at 11:01 PM - 0 comments

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