"Being too charming was never one of my faults." - Kill Me Later


Mine :: about me. wishlist

Right-wingers :: RWN. Frank J. DF. Volokh. LGF. Flea. Serenity. Common Sense & Wonder. Neophyite Pundit. BlytheBlog. Red White and Right. RightGuys. The Politburo Diktat. Dave Munger. Chuck. Harry. Michelle Malkin. AHC. DW. Mlah. National Summary. Right Thinking Girl. Fausta. MaxedOutMama. My VRWC. La Shawn Barber. Moxie. Kali. Cassandra. Tony. Conservative Grapevine. The American Princess. Dr. Melissa Clouthier

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Blogs :: Lian. Phil. Dan. Click. Jon. Rijah. Christine. Dave. Opinions Vary. Dave. Carey. Albert. Len. Grace. Thelma. Pia. Bumblebee Dreams. Todd. Babiegoose.

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Monday, August 30, 2004

going places i've already been...

So me and my hunny are going up north to my hometown for the long weekend =) He will be meeting my parents and a whole bunch of my friends (who are mostly guys), so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him =) Yesterday we spent all day lying around watching pre-convention coverage together and then he cooked me the most amazing dinner (filet mignon stuffed with bleu cheese and homemade mashed potatoes with bacon and chives)...I really didn't think it was possible for two people to "mesh" this well, but we do.

I kind of feel like I'm in that episode of Sex and the City where Carrie realizes that what's wrong with her relationship with Aidan is the fact that nothing is wrong. Except unlike Carrie, I have no problem with this whatsoever...I'm so over Mr. Big I can't really even consider him "Mr. Big" anymore. And unlike Aidan, Paul doesn't get on my nerves and looks really hot in a tank top =x So everything seems to be going perfectly right now...*knock on wood*

Anyway, I need to think of places to take Paul in the Bay Area and I'm drawing a blank so any suggestions are welcome =)

wingless was still breathing at 1:02 PM - 0 comments

Saturday, August 28, 2004

why i love the internet

I was looking through my referral log just now and look who I found! It's Nina! I met this girl in an AOL chatroom five years ago and we actually kept in touch for quite awhile but then lost touch when her website stopped working...maybe a couple years ago...but now here she is! She is an amazing person and an incredibly talented artist...not to mention hot =) Yeah, just thought I'd share =)

I'm sleepy.

wingless was still breathing at 8:14 AM - 0 comments

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Wictory Wednesday

I remembered! I'm sure everyone knows that this election is most likely going to be too close for comfort...I mean, it's John Kerry for goodness sake...so please volunteer or donate to Bush-Cheney '04.

Oh yeah, Juble, our lunch guy, also makes stops at the Kerry headquarters in West LA and Matthew keeps bugging him to get us a bunch of bumper stickers and pins and other paraphernalia (not too sure why). So yesterday he finally comes in with a John Kerry pin, but the funny thing is he said that's all they would give him...he said their hq was covered in bumper stickers but they wouldn't give him any. Democrats are weird. Anyway...go Victory 2004! =)

I will seriously cry on November 3rd if I wake up to a President John Kerry. You don't want that on your conscience do you?

wingless was still breathing at 8:10 AM - 0 comments

tamia - so into you

with every passing moment
thoughts of you run through my head
everytime that i'm near you
i realize that you're heaven-sent baby
i think you're truly something special
just what my dreams are really made of
let's stay together you and me boy
there's no one like you around oh baby

i really like what you've done to me
i can't really explain it
i am so into you
i really like what you've done to me
i can't really explain it
i'm so into you

it could be the way that you hold me
it could be the things that you say
oh i'm not too sure what it is boy
but i know i like feeling this way

i think you're truly something special
just what my dreams are made of
let's stay together you and me boy
there's no one like you around

i really like what you've done to me
i can't really explain it
i am so into you
i really like what you've done ot me
i can't really explain it
i'm so into you

i really like what i feel when i'm with you
you're a dream come true
don't you ever leave my side
cause it feels so right
wingless was still breathing at 7:33 AM - 3 comments

fingers crossed

There's something in the works right now and if it goes through then hopefully I'll have more time to watch the news, read and blog! Then maybe I'll be posting more than once a week...

Taz has fleas right now. I ordered her some Advantage but it hasn't come yet so in the meantime I'm being eaten alive =\ I don't understand why suddenly after two years (and never going outside) she's suddenly getting fleas. Could it be the apartment?

More later at work...It's been slow this week.

wingless was still breathing at 7:22 AM - 0 comments

Tuesday, August 24, 2004

pinch me

Sometimes when I'm blogging it feels like I'm having a chat with someone.
wingless was still breathing at 8:24 AM - 0 comments


So "Rob" wanted me to talk about meeting GWB...at first the photography staff wanted all of us staffers to be in one picture with President and Laura Bush but the President was nice enouh to tell them to split us into two groups so the picture would be smaller. After we took a picture he shook all of our hands and both he and Laura thanked us for all our hard work...that's pretty much it. He gave an excellent speech after the dinner, as did Arnold (both of them were pretty funny, so was Brad Freeman who is the RNC Finance Chair for California). Having Karl Rove, the governor, and Laura Bush there with President Bush was pretty amazing. Without a doubt that will be one of the most memorable days of my life...

And to Miss Lianimal the guy is Paul =) You met him at Garden of Eden remember? He was the one that followed me around all night haha. Everyone is rather proud of me for not getting with another guy who will treat me like crap.

Let's see, what else is new...Jesse...my supposed "best friend"...let's just say I don't have the warmest feelings towards him right now and can't forsee that changing in the near future. As Henry would say, Jesse "crossed a line" and once you've crossed it there probably isn't any going back. It's ironic because Jesse thought it was such a big deal that our friend C kinda made a move on me while I was with Eric. Bleh, I'm too angry and annoyed right now, I probably shouldn't elaborate.

And anyway, I have to go to work. I think I wrote this half asleep.

wingless was still breathing at 8:04 AM - 0 comments

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

fly this girl as high as you can

Life can be so strange sometimes. And unexpected. I don't know how to say what I'm feeling right now but suffice to say I feel wonderful =) I guess what's so disorienting is the fact that a week ago everything felt so turned around. My life was so wrong and so not where I wanted it to be, which I guess in some ways it still is...but...at least there's one thing I don't have to stress over anymore =)

There's no non-cheesy, pathetic way of saying this so I'll just come out and say it already...I'm with someone who makes me really happy and is not a bastard =) Officially!

I know that I can't expect someone to magically change my life and make things all better but I don't know why I do believe that being with the right person can make you change for the better...Okay I'm going to stop now cause I know no one likes hearing this crap =) I just had to share cause its my website and I feel like gushing.

wingless was still breathing at 11:08 AM - 0 comments

Sunday, August 15, 2004

deep end

Sorry for falling off the face of the Earth this past week...things were crazy to say the least. I spent way too many hours trapped in the office preparing for the Presidential Gala and the sad thing is I left earlier than everyone else. The event went really really well though, got to see the Governator as well as President Bush and Laura Bush and Karl Rove! When I shook his hand President Bush was laughing at me because I'm sure I must have looked like a speechless deer caught in headlights. It made all the long hours worth it.

I'm pretty much set on leaving my job now though. My brain feels like it's rotting into an unrecognizable jelly and I think spending that many hours inside is really getting to me. We're not even allowed to leave for lunch apparently (which is highly illegal but oh well). I think I'd really enjoy teaching preschool...I need to be around innocence and simplicity. At the very least children are simple right...simple minds...simple lives...everything is very straightforward with kids. Adults are too...complicated. Politics and money are too complicated.

I think things are looking up though. Maybe I can be happy at least for a little while now. Maybe I'll explain later why if I feel like it =) Or you can just ask me and maybe I'll tell ya.

wingless was still breathing at 11:30 AM - 0 comments

Sunday, August 08, 2004

now i wonder

I watched Little Black Book tonight with the girls (and a few boys who unscrewed their penises for the evening) at The Block...in my pajamas =) We spent the first half of the evening at Thelma's, eating her yummy burgers and salmon and watching Sex and the City as we man-hated. Supposedly going to the movies was going to take our mind off man-hate but it didn't work as the movie only reinforced our view of men as commitment-phobic bastards. Before the movie Thelma bought me a shirt that says "What boyfriend?" and made me promise to wear it the next time I go out with P.
wingless was still breathing at 4:52 AM - 0 comments

Saturday, August 07, 2004

i think i can

Bleh. Me and Thelma are going to be strong together. I'm getting Sex and the City Season 6 today and then we're having a girls night. And then we're going out to find cute boys who don't have Mr. Big issues (do they even exist?).
wingless was still breathing at 12:57 PM - 0 comments

Friday, August 06, 2004

worlds apart - jars of clay

i am the only one to blame for this
somehow it all ends up the same
soaring on the wings of selfish pride
i flew too high
and like icharus i collide
with a world i try so hard to leave behind
to rid myself of all but love
to give and die

to turn away and not become
another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans
more abundant than the tears
of a world embracing every heartache

can i be the one to sacrifice?
or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

to love you
take my world apart
to need you
i am on my knees
to love you
take my world apart
to need you
broken on my knees

all said and done i stand alone
amongst remains of a life i should not own
takes all i am to believe
in the mercy that covers me

did you really have to die for me?
all i am for all you are
cause what i need and what i believe are worlds apart

and i pray

to love you
take my world apart
to need you
i am on my knees
to love you
take my world apart
to need you
broken on my knees

i look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remains
more and more i need you now
i owe you more each passing hour
battle beats with grace and pride
gave up not so long ago
so steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish take the weak
and all the things i cannot hide
take the beauty take my tears
sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world apart
take it now take it now
and serve the ones that i despise
speak the words i can't deny
watch the world i used to know
fall to dust and go away

and i pray
take my world apart
worlds apart
wingless was still breathing at 8:03 AM - 0 comments

Thursday, August 05, 2004

or save me

So here I am. It's getting dark outside. I'm still sitting at my desk in the office babysitting the printer which is currently working on 1000 Progress for America envelopes. My head is killing me but I think it might be because the office gets stuffy once they turn off the a/c at 6:00 p.m.

Since I'm at work but not really doing anything I've had a lot of time to wander around the office and think. What conclusions have I come to? I rely heavily on defense mechanisms...the problem is some of these (many of them actually) aren't exactly healthy. Actually maybe a better way to describe it would be "passive aggressive." I can be very passive aggressive. I won't elaborate on it but I need to do something...the only problem is I don't know what to do. I feel so stuck right now, in all aspects of my life and it's starting to get to me. It's scary because this is the feeling that always proceeds falling into one of my depression holes and I really don't want to go back there again. But I'm afraid to ask for what I need...and maybe I don't even really know what I need. Not that that would be out of the ordinary. Bah, what do I know, I'm rambling...I've been at work for twelve hours and I'm hot and exhausted and cranky and I have a sinus headache and....somebody shoot me now.

wingless was still breathing at 8:12 PM - 0 comments

to sleep perchance to dream

I've been remembering my dreams again lately. In one of them I went to get a haircut and they cut it all short and ugly. In another I was at a friend's house late at night with a bunch of people and then my friend's brother came out and started being an ass and then he started bashing Bush, which I of course couldn't take sitting down so I got up and started arguing back at him. At that point he tried to intimidate me with his height and I told him that would get him nowhere with me except I might just kick him in the nuts to prove that superior height means nothing.

I was going to ask J if he wanted to volunteer at the Bush event next week despite our big fight and his baby-ishness but when I mentioned it to P last night he said he'd be interested in volunteering (I guess even if you're not a big Bush fan it's still cool to get to see the President of the United States in such close proximity). Plus I don't know if J would take any "favors" from me right now since he's probably still pissed off.

P and I are nearing our six month mark...I think sometime in September. I don't know where we are though. Or how attached to him I'm allowed to be. This is the first relationship I've been in where the lines are not clearly demarcated and I'm still deciding whether or not I like it this way. But since everything between us is good why rock the boat right?

My job is giving me an inside look at what goes on behind the scenes in politics. There is...a lot of internal politics within campaigns haha. Don't know how much more I can say about that.

wingless was still breathing at 7:38 AM - 0 comments

Tuesday, August 03, 2004


I had a bad feeling day even though nothing bad happened. In fact it went by fairly quickly because I was so busy and I got off pretty early. Just one of them days...but it's not PMS, so what's wrong with me? Bleh. I feel tired and defeated. I feel like giving up. I feel like I need more sleep. I don't feel safe.
wingless was still breathing at 10:43 PM - 0 comments

Sunday, August 01, 2004

summer of spring rolls

I made spring rolls all by myself yesterday and I must say they came out pretty well. I think I've perfected the art of wrapping =)

I got a chance to watch the final day of the DNC, including Kerry's 55-minute yawner. The man has two expressions: plastic smile and stern looking frown. My coworkers finally got to see how I can be when I'm all fired up and yelling at the TV.

Friday was Thelma's birthday bbq and while the bbq itself went but unnecessary and untold drama occurred before the event. Very silly and stupid, junior-high style, drama in my humble opinion. I finally realized that at a certain point you really can't keep trying to protect someone who isn't making any progress in the right direction.

It makes me wonder. Am I progressing in the right direction? Is anything in my life? Or am I just stagnating now into a situation I don't want to be in?

wingless was still breathing at 11:18 AM - 0 comments

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