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"Being too charming was never one of my faults." - Kill Me Later
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If there's one thing about my relationship with Eric that I'm grateful for it's the fact that he helped me realize that I have to depend on myself...and that I can. Of course, God has also really blessed me...I really think He gave me the job I currently have, the friendships...everything. I think about how just 6 months ago I was at a complete loss about what I'd be doing after June. There are still a lot of uncertainties in my life right now but everything seems to be coming into place at just the right moment. I guess this is what they mean by "have faith." I never really understood that before...Helen and I talked about it while we were wandering the streets of New York...how we'd grown up hearing "have faith" but faith never seemed like enough to us, because ultimately you do have to put in some effort right? But I guess the trick is to put in the effort and then leave it to God.
Back to the independence thing...I am a little worried that it could be a really bad thing for future possible relationships because I feel a little indifferent towards guys now...now that I've realized they come and go from your life and your life keeps going. And then of course I'm not only indifferent, I'm pretty cynical and skeptical. But, it is better to want someone in your life than to need them in it right? And at least this way the person in my life will know that they're not there just because I desperately need someone to fill a void, but because they really caught my attention.
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