My friends and I are heading out to The Mayan tonight! My friend Dzuy (who makes some amazing tracks) has pretty much guaranteed that the music alone will make it worth it =) I haven't been to a party since Monster Massive last October so I'm ready to have...some...fun! (Clean, sober fun for me of course.)

Going off on a tangent now...Looking at my wishlist (to buy the piano books) made me think of Eric and how he once wrote to the woman who wrote Sister of the Dream, which is on my wishlist but out of print. He wrote her to try and get a copy of her out of print book to give to me for my birthday. I don't know. It's just strange to me how someone can be so in love at one point, how you can lie in bed all day with someone feeding each other and making other people nauseous...and then one day it's just over. And all you have left are memories that don't even feel like your own anymore. It's like watching people in a movie, or in a dream. It makes me wonder if anything lasts.

I'm becoming too cynical.

I was with him for more than two years and it makes me feel a little bit like a monster that I don't even really miss him anymore. I feel like I've turned into him. I always knew he would get over me quickly and that I'd become one of those things he puts up on his unreachable mental shelf. I just never knew I could do the same to him. It's kind of scary. But then again, I am a much happier person now so maybe the boy is onto something.