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Thursday, February 03, 2005
stressed ><
I have a tendency to stress over things I probably shouldn't. Like tonight I'm stressing over possible big changes coming up, changes that I definitely want, but also partly don't because I hate change in general. And the fact that these changes are only a possibility stresses me out too because I hate things that aren't definite. I need long-term plans that don't change. I need stability. I don't deal with change very well...my mom thinks the breakup last March probably contributed to my condition as much as being overworked and underpaid while living in Los Angeles (aka God-forsaken-hell-hole) did.
As much as I want to go home, I feel like I have roots here now...well mostly Paul. I guess that's a dumb reason not to pursue an avenue that would most likely help my body start the healing process. Paul can move right? Bleh. I just hate not knowing what's going to happen. My joints are pretty bad tonight, not a good sign.
wingless was still breathing at 9:45 PM
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