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Wednesday, October 19, 2005

guess who? the fun part of bipolar-ness

My coworkers were telling me today at lunch how they were all freaking out at their 13-week review. Then I happened to be talking to a guy in another office in the afternoon and he found out I was at about two and a half months and he was all, "Ooooh, so you're coming up for your 13-week soon, eh?" and it was totally in this ominous voice like something earth-shattering was about to happen.

I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm not all that worried about it. I probably should be, because my six and eight week reviews were less than stellar (more energy! more aggressive! stop being so nice!) but I'm just...not. I don't know what it is. I guess I feel like I am trying and I will be a good recruiter given some time. And maybe, yes, I am a little too nice and like the helping-people-aspect of my job a little too much, but I don't know? I'm getting pickier? I'm trying to be louder on the phone and more energetic in general?

I'm doing my best and you know what if my best isn't good enough then maybe this just isn't the right position for me. As much as I do like this job, it's NOT the end of my world if I lose it. I believe God will provide.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose my job by any means, and this is definitely the best company I've ever worked for, but I think I can handle losing it. Of course, I may totally lose my *expletive deleted* if it actually ever happens, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see, won't we? If I disappear suddenly in two weeks, never to return, it probably means I offed myself in a fit of post-I-got-fired-blues.


Only time will tell I guess.

wingless was still breathing at 6:42 PM -

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