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Thursday, October 20, 2005

with all your heart

Our shephard group got moved from Friday to today (Thursday) this week so I'm just getting home. It's so late. But I'm really glad I went.

The chapter tonight was about trust and who we trust and who we should trust. Perry, our shephard group leader, tied it into our struggles with work and school and how so often we look to ourselves and all these things we have no control over even though we think if we just try our hardest then everything will work out as we want.

Maybe I haven't really given my issues with my life and, more specifically, work, over to God. Maybe I am just relying on myself and my own judgment and completely blocking out what it is He really wants me to do with my life? But, I don't know why, it's so clouded and I'm not getting a clear message? Or maybe I am and I'm just being blind. Sigh. I wish He would give me a burning bush or at least a really clear dream like they have in all the Bible stories. You know, where the angel comes to them and tells them something really specific they need to do with their life.

But I guess this is part of life. Struggle. Struggling to fight off the devil and earthly temptations. Struggling to keep God in your line of sight. Struggling to trust completely in Him and let go of believing in your own power. I really liked what Perry had to say tonight when he said that when he takes pride in something like work he knows he is trusting in himself and not in God. Because if you are trusting in God then you know it isn't you, but God working through you, in all aspects of your life.

Okay, it's late and I'm rambling. Hey if anyone is in the San Fernando Valley and wants to take their kid(s) to what is going to be, without a doubt, the most incredible harvest festival ever, then let me know and I'll post up info!

wingless was still breathing at 11:32 PM -

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