Sometimes it's hard for me to remember that being "good" will always be a struggle. Even though I see people like my little sister and it seems so easy for her, I know she has her own demons to wrestle - but maybe she is just a better wrestler than I am. Or just more disciplined. Same difference probably.

I keep trying to find a life
On my own, apart from You
I am the king of excuses
I've got one for every selfish thing I do

What's going on inside of me?
I despise my own behavior
This only serves to confirm my suspicions
That I'm still a man in need of a Savior

I wanna be in the light
As You are in the light
I wanna shine like the stars in the heavens
O Lord be my light and be my salvation
Cause all I want is to be in the light
All I want is to be in the light

The disease of self runs through my blood
It's a cancer fatal to my soul
Every attempt on my behalf has failed
To bring this sickness under control

Honesty becomes me
There's nothing left to lose
The secrets that did run me
In Your presence are defused
Pride has no position
And riches have no worth
The fame that once did cover me
Has been sentenced to this earth
Has been sentenced to this earth

So here's to a better new year. Maybe one where, by the grace of God, I can conquer those demons in my life.