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Monday, July 31, 2006

because there's beauty in the breakdown

Forgive me if my post tonight is a bit enigmatic. I guess I'm just in that kind of mood. Something big changed for me today. Honestly, it almost feels as though a part of me has died. A chapter in the book of my life has been slammed shut.

I must say, even though a part of me does feel like a chunk of my identity has been lost, I know that this was my choice. And not only that, it is for the best. I am finally leaving behind a part of my life that cannot come with me into the future. I'm leaving that part of myself behind and hopefully coming out of the process with only the better parts.

But knowing this doesn't really take away the fear. The fear that I will no longer be complete. The fear that I will no longer know how to live and breathe and put one foot in front of the other day after day. Consciously, I know that these are silly fears. I know that the truth is the life I leave behind was only half a life to begin with. A smokescreen. Hah.

Today, I chose to change my life. I chose to be free.

 wingless was still breathing at 9:23 PM -

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