College? Possibly. College was a fun time and I wouldn't mind going back and fixing a few mistakes such as not studying enough for certain tests, waiting until the last minute to write 20-page research papers, not getting to know my professors, etc. But the thing is, I like where I am today. And if changing a single step I took in my past would mean not having Paul in my life today then I wouldn't redo a thing. Although my personality predisposes me to looking back on the past more often than I should, I honestly believe that God led me down the path I took because I am supposed to be here. And I am very content. And because of that I can't say I regret a thing.

Now high school on the other hand? You couldn't pay me to relive high school. The only way I would ever choose to relive high school is if the other option was a slow painful death. And even then, I'd probably think about it for a few minutes.

High school was hell. That almost doesn't seem like a strong enough word for the experience that was high school. You know how usually after a few years have passed you tend to look back on things and only remember the good? Um, yeah, not with high school. More than six years later, the mere thought of reliving high school still makes me feel queasy.

Beyond the usual issues like: gossip, cliques, drama, drama, did I mention drama? There is also the fact that my high school consisted mainly of super-competitive, cut-throat, asian kids who would stop at nothing to be number one. A bad grade on a test could easily mean tears - lots and lots of tears. And since I was on the honors/AP track it was all that much worse. I admit it, I cried over a math test once. At recess. In front of people. And got sent to the counselor's office because I couldn't stop. (In my defense, it wasn't just about the test, there was also some of that ever-present drama).

Our teachers would often curve our tests to ensure maximum competitiveness and because I think they enjoyed watching us claw each other to death. I spent many sleepless nights working on one project or another while simultaneously studying for two different tests and trying to write an essay. I. Am. Not. Kidding.

See? Hell.

The reason I decided to write about high school today is because I just got back my very first midterm as a master's student. I got an A. 100% to be exact. And yet somehow, I am just a tiny bit disappointed because the class average was 88.45% and the "Mission mentality" (Mission was my high school) has left me with the feeling that doing well only means something if you're doing significantly better than everyone else. I know, I know, I'm a sick, sick person. But at least I know where it comes from. And that is why I would never willingly relive high school.