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Hey we've got an officiant! Paul found one over lunch because apparently one of his coworkers does that kind of thing in his spare time so Paul booked him on the spot. Finally, after months of no progress, we can cross one thing off the list.

So I went a little Bridezilla just now and I'm not making excuses for it but oddly enough I feel it has something to do with my job search. I think I feel like that is so out of my control that I need to start focusing on something that is completely and totally in my control. And when Paul suggested that I should give a rats behind about what one of his frat "bros" wants (to bring a certain person I do not like as a date), I kind of freaked out.

First of all, we established from the beginning of our wedding planning that only people in committed relationships would be allowed to bring their significant others. No casual dates. No friend dates. Only people who are expressly invited are to be there. This is partly to save money and partly because I just don't like the idea of a bunch of random people at my wedding...since most of our friends were single when we first started planning I figured this would work out anyway. Maybe Paul worded it wrong but when he said, "_____ wants to bring ____ as his date anyway even if we don't invite her." It just completely rubbed me the wrong way and I flipped out.

I almost cried a little as I typed cuss words at him about how I don't give a flying **** what _____ wants because it's not his damn wedding.

But you see, I know it can't just be about that. There's no way I'd get that emotional over something that's really not that big of a deal. It's more about control. Supposedly, I get to control this wedding and since I can't control anything else in my life at this point, nobody better even THINK about taking that away from me.

Or I will eat you.

The only people who can tell me what they want in terms of this wedding are 1) Paul and 2) my parents. And that's it. If your name is not on that list, I DON'T CARE. I don't want Paul's "bros" thinking this is some kind of Lameda party or reunion or something.

Labels: I need a job, Wedding Planning