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Sunday, March 11, 2007

I can't hold this in anymore

I'm trying really hard not to let this program turn me into a complete bitch. And it's getting pretty tough.

Don't get me wrong, for the most part I like my classmates, I really do. There are just a couple of people that I consider to be complete and utter morons. As Carlos Mencia would say, they're classic "dee dee dee's." How they made it through their undergraduate degrees is beyond me. Whether they will or should make it through this program is not up to me so I just won't comment on that.

Anyway, I have a lot of pet peeves, for one blatant stupidity irks the hell out of me. For example, someone who entered into this (International Finance) program without even knowing what the hell "finance" is makes zero sense to me. The fact that this same person now wants to work with non-profits in a very human resources type position is not so surprising but what is, is when I asked "So maybe an MBA specializing in HR would have been a better program for you?" I got "No, I'm not interested in HR" shot back at me. Hm...okay.

The fact that this same person who was supposedly in a professional working environment for a number of years and yet still doesn't understand that you don't walk up to a professor who's class you've just skipped (as in you literally walk in the moment class ends) and ask him if he can help you find a job...well perhaps it would have surprised me at the beginning of this semester but not at this point. Not even when I asked said person if that was really a good idea and was told, "(The professor) didn't care anyway." Right, cause professors never care when students skip their class for no particular reason.

And the list goes on and on and on and I know that you're probably thinking, well it's not your problem, just ignore it. Trust me. I have. I try. One of the problems is that I share close quarters with said person and am often unable to block out of the sound of said person's voice. And frequent grammar errors. And what really worries me is the fact that this person is (most likely) going to be representing the same degree program that I'm coming out of. Representing it with a significantly lower GPA, but representing it nonetheless, and perhaps lowering the value of my degree with said person's awful grammar and affinity for saying "aks" instead of "ask." And dropping verbs out of sentences (i.e. "why you tryna scare me").

The fact is I'm only in the third class coming out of this program and every single one of my classmates is representing not only themselves but this program and therefore me and it seriously irks/worries/scares the crap out of me that this person is going to be walking around branding my degree.

But at the same time I feel like I'm degenerating into some kind of awful human being who lacks the ability to empathize with this persons um...issues. I don't want to be that person. But the type A, competitive, control freak in me can't help but squirm inside.

I know that this is a test from God. My ability to love those who are difficult to love is being tested. And I feel like I'm failing miserably but I don't know how to turn myself around. I just don't know. And I hate that feeling.

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wingless was still breathing at 11:12 AM -

Joyce Meyer says that you shouldn't worry about anything you're not accountable to God for. It's just not your business. I know we've talked about the situation before. Just pray for the person. Pray that her grades and motivation improve. Or just pray for something wonderful to happen to her that will remove her from your life. Find something in common with her. I found something in common with the person I was having issues with. I'll tell you about it on aim; it's just totally ridiculous. But just finding that one little thing that we had in common made me see her as a person instead of a list of behaviors/actions that bothered me. God bless you! : )
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