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Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Being the bitch

I'm in a funk. And I'm sure Paul is really happy about the fact that he came up a week early and is spending his time off with this little crab.

I can't really figure out what my problem is and I wouldn't call it a mood swing because there is no swinging being done. Only steady, unabated crabbiness and unprovoked anger and prolonged periods of holding back tears for no apparent reason.

Of course, certain events do not help this situation. For example I got home this afternoon to find a reply card from one of Paul's friends. On Paul's instruction I clearly marked "1" after "total number of guests attending" on his reply card before I sent it. It was sent back with two names though, and one of those names happens to be the name of someone who was expressly NOT invited. She was expressly NOT invited because she's managed to rub me the wrong way each and every time we've met and since my parents are paying for the entire shindig and Paul did not seem to particularly care whether or not she was on the guestlist she was not sent an invitation. Awhile back, another one of Paul's friends also seemed determined to invite her and managed to really piss me off. For some reason, and I admit this may only be because of my current extremely emotional state, it now goes way beyond the fact this chick has gotten on my bad side and has turned into this thing where I'm miffed that people seem so freaking determined that she be at my wedding. I try not to fit into the whole self-centered bridezilla stereotype but it really bugs me that this wedding seems to be turning into something about her when it's supposed to be about ME! Remember, me? The bride?

And I HATE that I'm like this but I can't help it! I've let Paul take the reigns on 99% of this wedding (the only thing I've really picked so far has been my dress, I wasn't even there when Paul chose our cake) but this has now become the one thing that I feel adamant about. And I'm trying to figure out how I can be adamant about this without coming off like a complete bitch to Paul's friends who seem utterly determined that one way or another **** comes to the wedding. Ugh.

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wingless was still breathing at 5:28 PM -

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