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I think I'm getting sick or something. I don't know. Today was just not a good day and I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally...just exhausted in every imaginable way. I'm tired of worrying, tired of not living up to my own expectations...just...tired...of being...

I am trying so hard to stay positive, to keep my head above water, but honestly? I feel like I'm drowning.

Paul and I finally made it out to church this weekend in the city and the pastor gave us an assignment to pray daily this week about what we are thankful for. And I am thankful, I recognize all the blessings in my life, but I...I just miss the days of no responsibility. The days where I could hide in my little studio apartment for days at a time and not worry about anything really. I'm just so overwhelmed. And so lost as to where this is all leading and what it all means.

I picture you in the sun
Wondering what went wrong
And falling down on your knees
Asking for sympathy
And being caught in between
All you wished for and all you've seen
And trying to find anything
You can feel
That you can believe in
May God's love be with you
Always

Labels: Depression, God, the grind