"Being too charming was never one of my faults." - Kill Me Later

Webcam

Mine :: about me. wishlist

Right-wingers :: RWN. Frank J. DF. Volokh. LGF. Flea. Serenity. Common Sense & Wonder. Neophyite Pundit. BlytheBlog. Red White and Right. RightGuys. The Politburo Diktat. Dave Munger. Chuck. Harry. Michelle Malkin. AHC. DW. Mlah. National Summary. Right Thinking Girl. Fausta. MaxedOutMama. My VRWC. La Shawn Barber. Moxie. Kali. Cassandra. Tony. Conservative Grapevine. The American Princess. Dr. Melissa Clouthier

Military :: Kevin. Sgt Pontifex. Chief Wiggles. Eric. Koreahn. Bill

Blogs :: Lian. Phil. Dan. Click. Jon. Rijah. Christine. Dave. Opinions Vary. Dave. Carey. Albert. Len. Grace. Thelma. Pia. Bumblebee Dreams. Todd. Babiegoose.

Archives
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009

Have you ever loved something you knew probably wasn't good for you? Like it was everything you ever wanted and yet in some sick twisted way that was exactly why it was so wrong for you?

Sometimes I feel that way.

No, not about Paul. He is so good for me it is really unbelievable I ended up with him in light of my penchant for choosing things that are bad for me.

I am talking about my job.

Which despite all my bitching and moaning, I do love. Okay, that's not exactly true. I love the industry and I'm hoping that after I pay my dues I will be moved into the position I really want. That's the goal anyway, we'll see if it comes to fruition.

But sometimes, I wonder. I wonder if I'm doing the right thing or if I love this industry precisely because it feeds into everything bad about myself. Things I should be trying to change about myself, not nurture. Namely, being impatient is a necessary evil because things are moving at breakneck speed so if you're not impatient, if you're not asking people to do things five minutes ago, you're probably not getting your job done. I am probably one of the most impatient people I know and I've always hated it about myself but it's almost become a virtue for me now at work. And being impatient ten hours a day can't help but spill over into the rest of your life (is there a rest of your life when you're spending more of your waking hours in the office than doing everything else combined?).

Anyway, I'm not really thinking about making any changes. Just thinking out loud. I can't and don't want to imagine doing anything else career-wise. I think I just need to find better ways to unwind myself after work. Which is why I ended up getting this after all. Maybe it's just wishful thinking but I think it's going to help me sleep at night.

Labels: the grind