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Is it really August already? Really?

I've felt like crap all day today. Too much to drink last night + period cramps starting first thing in the morning = all bad.

I don't think I feel very good about myself or my life right now. Whenever I'm hit by a wave of this self-loathing I have this inner dialogue with myself where I tell myself tomorrow will be better and I will be a better person tomorrow. I will make myself be better somehow. I will be kinder, more thoughtful, less bitter and angry. Yadda yadda. Inevitably, I fail.

I have to stop letting every little thing stress me out. I have to quit being so inside my own head. Over-analyzing every little thing. Second-guessing every word out of my mouth. I'm twenty-seven years old, when am I going to get comfortable in my own skin?

How will it suddenly happen after a lifetime of the opposite? How ironic that I am in sales and sometimes all I want to do is hide in a dark corner where I don't have to face anyone. Because sometimes I just hate myself that much.

And I'm so terrified of no one else but me
And I'm here all the time
So I won't go away
Well it's me, yeah well I can't get myself to go away
Yeah it's me, yeah well I can't get myself to go away
Oh God I shouldn't feel this way no

Labels: Depression, i don't feel so good