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Two months.

I have two months until I take my big test in December.

Can I be honest with you for a minute?

I have not studied in weeks. I am so unprepared for this test that pretty soon I will be having panic attacks and nightmares where I show up for finals and I haven't studied all semester. And I'm naked.

I have always been one to rely on procrastination and my God-given ability to cram a lot of facts into my brain in a short period of time but somehow I feel this time that just may not work. Which is terrifying. This would literally be the first time in my life that I did not excel at a standardized test, much less not even pass it. And I am scared I won't. Pass. (It is scary to just write those words).

Even with all of this fear, I'm not sure I have the motivation to come home from ten hours of work every day to study for another 6-10 hours. Because at this point that is what it's going to take.

Hopefully imaginary people taunting me and the sad stench of failure will get my butt in gear. Come on, I can finish a book a week for the next two months. Yes I can!

Labels: CFA