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"Being too charming was never one of my faults." - Kill Me Later
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Just now I was walking home after drinks and another twelve hour day at work. As I was rounding the corner onto my street I saw an older woman with a dog collapse on the sidewalk. No one else was around and it was behind a row of bushes blocking us from the street. I ran to her to see if she was okay, and she didn't seem to be able to get up, though she was conscious. Her dog was walking around her and licking her face and she was crying saying, "Oh my God" over and over again. I knelt down beside her and started rubbing her shoulder asking if she was okay. Did she need me to call someone? I asked her if she needed help? She said yes. So I did the only thing I could think of. I called 9-1-1. It's funny because my recurring nightmare is that I will call 9-1-1 and either no one will answer or they'll put me on hold, but they answered on the first ring. The woman who answered asked me a lot of questions, is she breathing? Is she conscious? Is she bleeding? Yes, yes and no. She asked me if I knew how old she was, I asked the woman and she said 56. The same age as my mother. The paramedics arrived moments later and the dog began barking at them immediately. The woman said, no, no, I don't want the police. And I said, it's the firemen, they will help. She started lift the upper half of her body off the sidewalk so she was propped up. Her legs still seemed as though she couldn't stand. She said she didn't want them. A big group of firemen surrounded us, and then paramedics came out of an ambulance not far behind. They said they recognized her, they had seen her the other night. One of the younger firemen told me they had it from here. They seemed...cynical...but nice enough at the same time. They asked her if she'd been drinking. She said, no...then maybe yes. She seemed confused. I got up. One of the older firemen nearby seemed to understand how shocked and disturbed I was. He was warm and gentle and told me they knew her, she drank and she fell down, they had seen her before. They would take good care of her. And he thanked me. I walked off, dazed. She was the same age as my mother but looked older. While we were alone I had asked her if I could call anyone else for her, she said she lived alone. She kept saying she was so sorry, so sorry, and that I was so nice...and I told her she didn't have to be sorry at all.... I don't know?? Did I do the right thing? I didn't know what else to do, I was afraid she was hurt. But maybe she just needed someone, someone to talk to her, someone to care. Maybe that's why she drinks and falls down? Maybe I did the wrong thing, I don't know??? I hope I see her again. I hope I recognize her. I wish I hadn't just walked off when the emergency crew asked me to leave. I just wish I could have done something more since it now seems so clear she was looking for more than just physical help. I just wish life wasn't this way. Labels: navel gazing, San Francisco
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