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That is just my utter and complete failure.

Wow, I have no idea where that came from. I'm pretty sure it didn't come out right, but I was sleep-blogging so who knows? Maybe I really am just that hard on myself. I think I was referencing my utter and complete failure in terms of studying.

Because, um, yeah. Utter and complete failure? About sums that up.

I haven't been feeling right lately. Emotionally or physically, though with me they can be tied together. My feet were aching like crazy with arthritis this morning, though they're starting to feel better now. I think it's because it's starting to get cold here. Emotionally, I just feel like I've been sucker punched by life. No particular reason, just tired and a little bit bitter.

I don't want things to change. I don't want things to stay the same. I just want to be happy where I am.

Labels: Depression, i don't feel so good, Life

Monday, November 16, 2009

why one should only blog when in full control of one's faculties

I have been wanting to write. I have. Write about things beyond how many chapters I have (or haven't, mostly haven't) read. How much more studying I need to do despite the fact that I spend huge sums of my day doing absolutely nothing.

I feel like life needs to change. I need to get out of this crappy studio apartment with no light and move into a place that is....a home. Of course this has absolutely nothing to do with studying. That is just my utter and complete failure.

Labels: CFA, Life

Friday, November 13, 2009

oh crap

So. My test is officially less than a month away now and I am starting to shift into full-panic gear. Or I'm getting there anyway. This did not prevent me from opting for hitting the bar rather than hitting the books after work yesterday, but well, what can I say? I am addicted to procrastination.

I had my first nightmare about all of this the other night. I dreamt that I had about twenty days left til test day (oh wait...) AND I had a bunch of finals to take. Which I hadn't studied for yet either. And I actually hadn't been to two of the classes all quarter and had therefore missed all the midterms which meant I was conceivably already failing those courses. Which I needed in order to graduate.

It was one of those dreams where you wake up with this feeling of horror and it takes a few minutes to realize that not only do you not have finals, you're not even in school anymore. Except then I remembered the whole CFA in less than a month thing and that tightness in my chest came right back just like that.

Labels: CFA, to sleep perchance to dream

Sunday, November 01, 2009

a good time for an eye for an eye

I really hope the neighborhood ex-cons find these boys before the police do. Although, I suppose if they are tried as adults as it appears they will be, they will meet the same fate in prison anyway (fresh young meat and all). Still, if they want to live "the street life" then perhaps street justice is all they deserve.

Labels: Criminals, News