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This week was the longest short week ever. And since I took Tuesday off, it was only a three day week for me, and yet somehow it felt like it was six days long. Funny how that is.

I was looking for some old posts about Valentine's day and in going through my archives I realized that it's been just a little over five years now since I was first diagnosed with lupus. Crazy. It feels like it's been a part of my life forever and yet when I think back really hard, I remember I had twenty-two years PL (pre-lupus). I remember what it was like to live life as a young person and not to think so hard about your body all the time.

Physically, this week has been a rough one. Maybe it was all the stress I let build up last week over work and The Snub. But this week was really hard. I slept a decent amount in Vegas, we never stayed out past midnight and I took baths and let myself sleep in til ten in the morning. Ten! Waking up for our early flight Tuesday morning was rough, but I got home and slept until I had to go tutor at 3pm and I was still exhausted. I can just feel something in my joints. I can feel something is not quite right.

I tried to lie to myself last week after I couldn't get a good bp reading. I was like, I do everything right! I don't party, I eat okay, I don't smoke, I get my eight hours every night...But okay, I do have a glass of wine more often than I should. Which really is probably the last really bad thing I do to my body that I really shouldn't be doing. For lent I decided to give up soda, and not for lent, but just for me, I plan to quit drinking for awhile too. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an alcoholic, I don't drink every day or feel the need to drink every day. But I'll have a couple of glasses of wine a few times a week or more than that when I am with friends who are drinking, and with my pre-existing condition, I do feel like it could be negatively impacting my health more than it would for someone without this condition.

Maybe I can't control this, but I guess I still feel like maybe I can and I have to try.

Labels: i don't feel so good