"Being too charming was never one of my faults." - Kill Me Later

Webcam

Mine :: about me. wishlist

Right-wingers :: RWN. Frank J. DF. Volokh. LGF. Flea. Serenity. Common Sense & Wonder. Neophyite Pundit. BlytheBlog. Red White and Right. RightGuys. The Politburo Diktat. Dave Munger. Chuck. Harry. Michelle Malkin. AHC. DW. Mlah. National Summary. Right Thinking Girl. Fausta. MaxedOutMama. My VRWC. La Shawn Barber. Moxie. Kali. Cassandra. Tony. Conservative Grapevine. The American Princess. Dr. Melissa Clouthier

Military :: Kevin. Sgt Pontifex. Chief Wiggles. Eric. Koreahn. Bill

Blogs :: Lian. Phil. Dan. Click. Jon. Rijah. Christine. Dave. Opinions Vary. Dave. Carey. Albert. Len. Grace. Thelma. Pia. Bumblebee Dreams. Todd. Babiegoose.

Archives
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
December 2009
January 2010
February 2010

Last week I wanted to write a post about how disillusioned I've become with certain things involving my career and company. But then, on Thursday we had our first meeting with Dr. Bigshot - our new high risk obgyn who will hopefully be our guide through this whole crazy process which sounds to be full of lots of testing and blood draws and all shenanigans involved in high risk pregnancies.

Overall the doctor seemed pretty positive but the thing that personally has me freaked out was my blood pressure reading at the beginning of the appointment. And then they thought maybe they'd try it again at the end but it was still high!! Since then I've been testing at home and while it's a little bit lower it's still way too high.

It just brings me back to the last time I flared when my bp was off the charts and I'm afraid that this is what's happening and that when I see my doctor he will think that this means I can never taper off my meds, ever, and ahhhhhh.

Rarely do I hate this disease but now I'm just terrified. Terrified that my whole "plan" is being derailed by none other than my crappy body. And I feel like I have no control over it, no way to know, no way to plan. What the hell should I do!! Thinking of doubling up on my high bp medication because maybe I really am just stressed the fuck out right now what with all the shit going on at work....Maybe this doesn't have to be my freaking body destroying my own kidney...right?? RIGHT?

Sigh. I went to Vegas too by the way but I'll go over that when I'm a little more coherent and less sleep deprived.

Happy belated V-day everyone and especially to my wonderful husband who knows I don't really care but bought me flowers anyway...And they're purrty...

Labels: Baby talk, Life