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Tuesday, March 02, 2010

try to put the pieces together, but perfection is my enemy

March? Where did March come from all of the sudden.

I am ok. Almost ok. Or something. Seriously though, I'm starting to grow in leaps and bounds in the whole "accepting it" thing. Life goes on and yadda yadda yadda. My life is not bad, in fact it's great in many ways and I'm choosing to acknowledge my blessings rather than dwell on the shit that sucks.

Today was my third official tutoring session and I'm realizing it's freaking hard to teach a kid for an hour. I can't imagine how teachers do this ALL. DAY. LONG.

They are crazy I tell you, just nuts.

Although...part of me does wish that I had more time to spend with them because one hour a week, while you're forcing a kid to read (ew, who wants to do that) is not very good bonding time and I believe you do have to bond with kids in order to teach them. So...we'll just have to see what happens.

I think it's now what, two weeks into lent? So far giving up soda has been difficult but I'm not exactly going through withdrawal. It's more like, gee a soda would sure hit the spot right now but guess I'll drink this cup of hot water instead....yum. Also does not help that my sweet wonderful thoughtful husband went out and bought a SODA MAKER (I kid you not) the day after I decided I was giving up soda for lent.

There will be a long post on adoption coming. I have written it in my head many times. Attempted to commit it into some words and felt like I failed to get my point across about a hundred times now. But I shall press on and hopefully at some point I will be able to explain...something...about...something...to..myself. Or something.

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wingless was still breathing at 9:11 PM - 0 comments

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

failures and wishes

Another week, another failed attempt at purchasing our own little piece of California. This time we weren't as deep into the process as with the last one, but somehow this one was a little more disappointing. What happened with the original place you ask? The inspection was an epic fail. Water damage all over the place (things that make your inspector say, "I've been doing this 28 years and I've never seen that before" are, shall we say undesirable). Oh and then there was the whole growhouse thing. No they were not currently growing p0t (that might actually have been a plus, extra income for the mortgage perhaps? heh) but there were clear signs that they had been and our inspector said he couldn't promise that they hadn't royally f*cked up the ventilation and/or electrical systems. That was like the cherry on top though, it really wasn't the worst thing by far.

Do we know how to pick 'em or what?

Anyway, Paul and I decided to donate to a couple of orphanages in Haiti after reading about the good work they're doing there and the dire condition many of them are in right now. God's Littlest Angels and For His Glory which runs Maison des Enfants de Dieu.

I've been doing a lot of research on what the adoption process was like for Haiti (prior to the quake, I'm sure there will be changes or that the program will be put on hold entirely for awhile) and was interested, thought not terribly surprised, to discover that the majority of the orphanages in Haiti are run by faith based organizations. There are actually are no government orphanages in Haiti and because of the nature of the orphanages most will only adopt to Christian or Jewish families. The government seems to have fairly strict marriage requirements (minimum ten years although I've read that they will relax that down to five years on a case by case basis) and they seem to generally want older couples (minimum age 35, but again they do make exceptions down to 27-28). This means that if Paul and I truly do feel called to adopt from Haiti we would most likely have to wait a minimum of 1.5 years (that would be the five year mark for our marriage and we would be 29/30 years old).

For me, I think this is something I'm actually really serious about doing. For Paul? I'm not so sure, but unlike a lot of guys he is open to adoption and I think if my first pregnancy is a hard one he will likely be even more open to it (especially if he doesn't get his boy! yes he's old school like that). From my research it's actually a shorter wait for Haitian boys so that would work in our favor!

I have read that Haitian adoptions even before the quake were long, bureaucratic, filled with needless red tape (more so than other international adoptions) and generally very drawn-out, angst-filled and stressful. It does give me pause but at the same time I think if God is calling us to adopt from Haiti He will make it happen. We have time to pray about this and prepare for it if it really is in our future, funny though I'm actually really frustrated that this isn't something we can get working on NOW (the process takes 2-3 YEARS). Of course, that's highly unrealistic considering we don't even meet the bare minimum marriage/age requirements and the earthquake will undoubtedly put adoptions in Haiti on hold for awhile anyway. I'm just impatient, as usual.

I do have reasons beyond just the earthquake for feeling like perhaps I'm being called to adopt specifically from Haiti but I'll save that for a post of it's own...

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wingless was still breathing at 4:20 PM - 0 comments

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